Saturday, December 31, 2011

Farewell, December.


December was the typical hustle-and-bustle of the holiday season. There were Christmas songs playing from my laptop daily while I worked on craft projects for my friends' gifts and baked boxes of yummy treats. In between, I sipped hot chocolate, watched all of my favorite Christmas movies, and wrote some love letters for the 12 Days of Love Letter Writing.

It all culminated in the best holiday weekend I have in memory. I excitedly swapped gifts with my boyfriend, caught up on the lives of family members, and enjoyed every moment of it with barely a moment of anxiety. I sat around the tree with Erik's family and felt so comfortable and not a single bit out of place; it was a wonderful feeling and I'm grateful to be so welcomed by them.

I won't be addressing my goals because barely kept them in mind this month. However, I will say that I remained pretty stress-free, took care of myself, and tried my hardest to soak in every single joyful experience this season. It was a great month; a great close to the end of what has been a most wonderful year.

Instead of a recap of my year, I'm posting the links to my monthly recaps. Feel free to read through to see all of the things that made this year special for me.

Friday, December 30, 2011

One Word.

{photo credit: me}
 

My 2010 was summed up by the phrase letting go. It wasn’t a mantra I set out to follow in January, but one that became apparent when I recollected the years’ events in December. Even upon figuring out my ‘word’ for the previous year, it didn’t occur to me to create one for 2011. I was still of the belief that picking a word to describe a year that hadn’t even happened yet was a bit pointless.

It has taken a few days of thinking to figure out my word for 2011, and to be honest, I was pretty stumped for a while. There was more letting go, primarily of my over-thinking and worrying. There was a lot of love, not only in my relationship with Erik but amongst my friends and family. There was bravery – taking small leaps with my anxiety by stretching my limits in terms of attending events that I would normally just avoid. But none of these words really stuck out to me.

And then, as I sat down to compose this post, I glanced up at my bulletin board and saw this quote (from a Valentine’s-themed Dove chocolate wrapper):

Trust with your heart, not your head.

Trust.

It was the backbone behind all of the words I highlighted above. I had to trust myself and my instincts instead of thinking of every single scenario and fretting about it. This was particularly true in the beginning of my relationship – after sitting one day and wondering how much do I like him, does he like me the same way, how far will this go, are we compatible, I stopped the mental spew of questions and thought, just go with it, wherever it goes.

That thought followed me throughout the year, spreading to other parts of my life. It’s like everything that everyone kept telling me has finally clicked in my mind: Stop anticipating every single thing that can go wrong. Be decisive. Don’t ask for and follow the opinions of others, because my choices are my own to make. Do the things that make me happy, without worrying about the opposite scenario being more responsible or less risky. Go with my gut instincts.

Despite being so against choosing a word for my upcoming year last December, I feel differently this year. It was a simple choice, one that I’ve been half-heartedly committing to year after year. It was inspired by Stephany, who chose health as her word; my word is healing.

Not only do I need physical healing of my stomach problems and anxiety, but there is a lot of emotional crap clogging up my life. When I sit down to apply for jobs, I feel such strong pangs of disappointment that I can’t bear to submit applications. I don’t have a lot of love for myself in general. There’s a struggle to communicate properly with Erik because of twisted ways of thinking.

All of these things – my IBS, my anxiety, the emotional back-up going on within me – need to be healed in order for me to be the best Cait ever. I look forward to the challenge.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Christmas Recap.

My Christmas was chaotic, but wonderful in every way.


The festivities began with a family party at my house on Saturday afternoon. It was quiet and relaxed, which is preferable because the following day is usually buzzing with excitement. We sat around chatting, taking pictures, and preparing a yummy dinner including – my favorite – kielbasa.

Dessert followed up dinner and included my favorite sprinkle cookies from the bakery in my parents’ hometown, where my aunt and grandparents still live. At that point the rest of the family – my uncle and his family – joined us with three more plates of dessert, including my aunt’s famous cream puffs. Holy sugar overload, batman.


Despite planning to leave for Erik’s house by 7pm, I didn’t pull out of the driveway until 9pm. The drive flew by and the next thing I knew, I was reunited with my love after more than a week apart (which sounds like nothing, but when you normally see one another twice a week, that’s a long time). Once I settled in, we exchanged gifts, cuddled while watching TV, and then fell asleep.

Morning came quickly and I was very excited to wake up, as evidenced by the fact that I was up at 9:30 and had to wait (almost like a little kid) until Erik decided to get out of bed at 10:30. Everyone had a delicious breakfast; I had cereal because I can’t eat a lot in the morning. Then we settled around the tree and I played Santa and handed out gifts. After that I was on my way out the door and heading home to quickly shower, get ready, and put together a brownie trifle for our second family party. It took longer than I expected – I’d taken a half-hour head start from Erik and when he arrived, I was still not dressed – but luckily my hair and makeup don’t take long.

 Seventeen people for dinner = one long table & disposable plates.

We arrived at my aunt’s house with plenty of time until dinner. I had time to breathe as I helped with dinner preparations and then we all sat down to another delicious meal. Then it was time for pictures and gifts!

Me and Lynds. Best friends!

Erik and I, yay!

All of the 'kids' - me and my cousins, along with Erik and family friend, Brian.
 
The rest of the evening was spent catching up with family members and noshing on a huge variety of desserts. We – Erik, me, and my brother – ended up staying last and having a three-hour chat with my aunt and cousins over various family issues. It was exhausting and a bit emotionally draining; when we arrived home, I was in a poor mood and thankfully Erik was here to comfort me.

It was such a fabulous weekend. I saw almost all of my family, got to spend time with Erik’s family, and spent the entirety of Christmas Day with Erik. I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Christmas Haul.

While I finish up the recap of my fabulous Christmas weekend, today I'll be sharing a few pictures of all the goodies I got this year! To me, showing off my gifts is proof that I was excited and grateful to receive them. It’s like a great big thank-you note!

My very first gift was from Melissa a week ago – a pretty necklace that came in a cute little box. (She also brought cookies for my family, which were super delish.)


Since I missed out on my family’s Christmas Eve gift exchange, my next set of gifts were from Erik, and he did a good job shopping for me. I got a Rangers sweatshirt to wear to the game we’re attending in January(!), a pair of earrings I was lusting after, and a gift card to Victoria’s Secret.

My favorite part? The tie in the front is criss-crossed like hockey jerseys are.
 
 
I'm not lying to you when I tell you these match my eyes exactly. Love them.

Christmas morning was spent with Erik’s family, which meant swapping with Natalie. She knows me so well – I got sour gummy worms and a Starbucks gift card. Now I can buy lattes guilt-free! Plus, I was super surprised to find a gift from his family under the tree for me, containing a perfume set.


In between the morning’s celebrations and my family party, I unwrapped my gifts from my parents on my own (they were already out at the party). I did pretty well – an Erin Condren planner; the same earrings Erik got me (I did not expect my mother to buy them for me); a scarf; feather earrings; a calendar; the last two Harry Potter DVDs; and a buttload of candy.

My new scarf & earrings.

At my aunt’s house, I’m pretty sure I freaked out at every gift I received. My cousin Clancy made DVDs of all the footage she’s video taped at our family gatherings* and also got me cute knee socks, candy and nail polish. Lynds got me Hello Kitty pajamas and a necklace, about which I was the most excited. My aunt gifted me a satchel-type purse, which I really wanted because sometimes lugging around my big purse is too much.

 

I can’t help but get excited about receiving gifts, but I was also just as excited to watch everyone open the gifts I got for them. It’s one of my favorite parts of Christmas.

What was your favorite gift from Christmas? What was the best gift you gave this year?

* Clancy is the younger sister of my cousin who was in the Navy and lived in California. She would carry a video camera around to record all of our family gatherings and send them off to him. I asked her a few times if we could get copies and she was finally able to get them on DVDs!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Merry Christmas!

{close-up of the lights on our tree; photo by me}


Christmastime is my favorite part of the year. My personal holiday season starts with Thanksgiving and ends with my birthday (January 8th, mark your calendars!) and is filled with so many things that I love.

Thinking up gifts. Shopping for those gifts or the supplies to make them. Baking endless amounts of cookies and making peppermint bark. Wrapping everything up in pretty wrapping paper or packages. Decorating the house from top to bottom. Blasting Christmas music at all hours. Seeing the Christmas lights lit up while driving at night. Drinking hot chocolate and peppermint mochas. Wearing a Santa hat while partaking in any and all holiday activities – this includes cleaning the house for company. Planning and baking desserts with my cousin for Christmas day. Picking out cute outfits.

Most importantly, of course, is spending time with friends and family. It’s the perfect time to show my love, both through gifts/baked goods and more personal interaction. My birthday is also included here because – and here’s the only plus of a winter birthday – all of my friends are usually free to get together because people are on break. I spend most of the year making plans with friends individually, so to have everyone in the same room for a night is really special.

And last year, this time of year got even better because it was when my relationship with Erik was just beginning. (It literally spanned my whole holiday season: he asked for my number on Thanksgiving weekend and we became an official couple three days before my birthday. Coincidence? I think not.) It’s been really fun to look back on those memories and it just supplements this season with an extra something special.

Today I'm getting together with Lynds to bake for Christmas, watch a movie, and sip on wine. Tomorrow will be a party with my mom's side of the family, and as soon as I take my last bite of dessert, I'm driving to Erik's house to spend the rest of the evening and Christmas morning with him and his family. On Sunday we'll both be driving back here, then over to my aunt's for the second party with my dad's side of the family. It promises to be an exciting weekend.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas! Have a wonderful weekend.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Cookie Week: Chocolate Chip Cookies.


Time for my second contribution to Erin's Christmas Cookie Week! I may have a third recipe in store for you - I'm baking tonight & we'll just have to see how it goes. Click over to The Speckled Palate every day this week to see some awesome recipes!

It's not Christmas in my house without chocolate chip cookies. My mom did the bulk of the work when I was a kid - we just got to measure things and then put the cookies on trays. We use the recipe right off the bag of Nestle Toll House Semi-Sweet chocolate chips, and I probably always will. Even if I try out new chocolate chip recipes, I'll always come back to the yellow bag. It's what I know and it tastes good, so why mess with it?

Let's get started! Preheat your oven to 375 degrees and grab the following items: flour, baking soda, salt, sugar, brown sugar (I've found little difference between light or dark, so go with what you have!), eggs, butter, vanilla extract, and of course, chocolate chips. This year I've also added some Nestle Mini Toppers, which are teeny-tiny white chocolate chips that are colored red and green.


The butter needs to be softened before you start. In one bowl, mix your dry ingredients (flour, baking soda, salt).


In your mixer bowl (or a second bowl), cream together your wet ingredients except the eggs (sugar, brown sugar, butter, vanilla extract). Add the eggs one at a time, making sure they get mixed in well in between.


Add the dry ingredients gradually, in about three or four parts. When your done, the dough will look delicious and be stuck to the paddle.


At this point, add the chocolate chips. Sometimes I use the mixer to distribute them in the batter, but sometimes my mixer thinks that's too much work. This time, I tossed in the chocolate chips (and the Toppers) and mixed with a spatula. It was a good arm work out!


Drop the dough onto ungreased baking sheets. The size is up to you. I go with heaping teaspoons - not the measuring spoon, but an actual teaspoon. (Does that make sense? I hope so.)


Bake for 9 to 11 minutes. I find that 9 usually works, though occasionally I wait another minute. They're done once the edges are golden brown, but sometimes I like to leave them until they're almost all brown.


Cool for a minute before taking them off the tray, then cool them on wire racks (or your kitchen table, like I do). Feel free to eat them immediately because just-baked chocolate cookies are the best - just don't burn yourself! Otherwise, I've found that you can leave these out and they stay soft and chewy for a day or two. Past that point, put them away or else they'll start to taste a bit stale.

Nestle Tollhouse Chocolate Chip Cookies (recipe copied straight from their website)
Ingredients
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) NESTLÉ® TOLL HOUSE® Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels

Directions
PREHEAT oven to 375° F.

COMBINE flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in morsels and nuts. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.

BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Ten on Tuesday [Vol. 48].

1. What is your favorite online-only store?
Amazon.com.

2. Do you enjoy wrapping gifts?
Absolutely. I love making gifts look super pretty on the outside. Presentation is everything!

3. What is the temperature in your city today?
Well, I write my posts the night before. Right now - at 5:30 on Monday night - it's 49 degrees. It should be around 39 degrees tomorrow morning.

4. What time do you eat dinner?
My family eats dinner around 5:30pm on weeknights and closer to 5pm on weekends. When I'm on my own for dinner, however, I'll eat anytime between 5 and 7, whenever I get hungry.

5. Will you be making New Years Resolutions?
Not exactly. I'll be participating in 12 Changes, which is about setting one goal per month to develop new, healthy habits. But I won't really be setting resolutions at the beginning of the year to follow throughout.

6. How old is your oldest pair of shoes that you still wear?
Quite a few of my dressy shoes are pretty old - a fair number were purchased in high school (2001-2005). I don't wear them regularly, just for holidays or occasions on which I need to dress up.

7. Do you have any restaurant phone numbers saved in your phone?
Nah, I don't order frequently enough to save them in my phone.

8. What is your favorite and least favorite letter to write in cursive?

Favorite: capital L
Least favorite: lower-case Z

9. Do you know any good riddles?
I know a few but here's one that's off the top of my head (that you've probably heard before).
A man rides into town on Friday. He stays for three days, then rides back home on Friday. How is this possible?
{Highlight here with your mouse for the answer: Friday is the name of his horse. Get it? He's riding on Friday both times, because it's his horse! Clever, right?)}

10. How do you feel about snow?
It's a love/hate relationship. Usually if it's before Christmas, or the first two or three major snowfalls, I'm a big fan. Anytime after that and it's just a pain. Plus, I have a winter birthday and I hate worrying if snow is going to ruin my plans.


These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by the wonderful Chelsea of Roots and Rings.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Cookie Week: Snickerdoodles!



When I heard that Erin would be hosting a feature about cookies this week, I knew right away I'd be participating. It's the week before Christmas, which means that I go into Baking Overload. Hop on over to Erin's blog, The Speckled Palate, today and every day this week to find a collection of awesome cookie recipes!

Today I'll be sharing a recipe for snickerdoodles, which is a new favorite of mine. Here's the recipe card (I'll also be typing it up for you at the end of this post).


This recipe is from my ex-boyfriend's siblings. They all loved to bake in that house, which meant in that aspect, I fit right in. Here's what you'll need... and preheat your oven to 375 while you find everything.


You don't need a stand mixer; a hand mixer will also suffice. I don't know if you can swing mixing it by hand because the dough gets a little thick at the end. But, you can try! Otherwise you need flour, baking soda, cream of tartar, ground cinnamon, an egg, a stick of butter, vanilla extract, and sugar.

I like to mix dry ingredients first. That'll be the flour, cream of tartar, and baking soda.


Oh, and the cinnamon. It's my secret ingredient - I just add a few dashes in with the dry ingredient mix.


In another bowl (or your stand mixer bowl), combine the wet ingredients: butter, egg, sugar, and vanilla extract. You'll want the butter to be softened - if you think of it ahead of time, leave it out for a while before you start. Otherwise, my trick is to nuke it in the microwave for 10 or 15 seconds on a 50% power level. (If your microwave doesn't have 50% power level, I'd suggest nuking it for 5 second intervals, checking on it in between. You don't want it melted, just soft and mixable.)


Mix those up until they're kinda creamy - it won't be completely smooth, but don't worry, it's supposed to look that way. Here's a reference.


After that, add the dry ingredients slowly. Dump a little bit in at a time and mix slowly so that flour doesn't fly everywhere. Once you've added it all, mix until everything's completely combined. The dough will be pretty thick - it should stick together and to your mixer.


One more thing you'll need before you put these on baking sheets: cinnamon sugar. The ratio is two parts sugar, one part cinnamon; make more or less depending on how many batches you're making. Usually a teaspoon of cinnamon and two of sugar suffices. Blend them together with your fingers.


Almost time for baking! Roll the dough into quarter-sized balls (I used to make them bigger but tried this size for this year and loved the size of the final product!).


Roll the dough balls around the plate of cinnamon sugar until their coated on all sides. Sometimes the dough is too soft or your hands are too warm, resulting in the dough sticking to your hands. If this is happening, pop the dough in the fridge for fifteen minutes and come back to it.


Put them on ungreased baking sheets about an inch apart. Be careful when you go to pick up the baking sheets - since they're coated in the sugar mixture, they'll slide out of position if the tray is tilted. Pop them in the oven and bake them for 10 to 12 minutes. (I find that 11 minutes is the perfect number for me, but our oven is small and yours may vary.)


You'll know their done when the tops have crackled a bit (it was hard to get a picture of that) and the bottom edges just start to brown. In the oven and when you first take them out, they'll be a bit puffed up...


...but once they cool, they should flatten out and look completely delicious.


(Although sometimes, because my oven is small, the batch on the lower rack doesn't flatten out as nicely. They're a bit lumpier, but just as delicious, I promise.)



So there you have it! This should make about two dozen cookies, though it really depends on how big you make them. Once they've completely cooled, eat them or store in an air-tight container so they stay soft. If you don't, they'll get harder and crisper... of course, if you prefer that to soft cookies, go right ahead and leave them out on a plate!

Kim & Steven's Snickerdoodle Recipe
Ingredients:
1/2 cup of butter, softened (1 stick)
1 cup of sugar, plus 2 tsp. for coating
1 egg
1/2 tsp. of vanilla extract
1 1/2 cup of flour
1/4 tsp. cream of tartar
1/4 tsp. baking soda
A few dashes of ground cinnamon, plus 1 tsp. for coating

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. In one bowl, mix together dry ingredients (flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, cinnamon).
3. In another bowl (or mixer bowl), combine wet ingredients (butter, sugar, egg, vanilla extract). Beat until combined and somewhat creamy.
4. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ones slowly, in about three or four parts.
5. On a small plate, combine the sugar and cinnamon set aside for the coating; mix together thoroughly.
6. Roll dough into quarter-sized balls and roll in cinnamon-sugar mix.
7. Place on ungreased baking sheets, about 1 inch apart.
8. Bake for 10-12 minutes. Let cool for a minute or two before removing them from the tray.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Bullet List Friday.

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Happy Friday everyone!

I'm running on five hours of sleep and am buried in holiday-related to-do lists. In the spirit of that, this blog post will also contain a list... a Bullet List, that is! Everyone's favorite!

What I've been up to:
  • My obsession with Hello Kitty is coming back. I say 'coming back' because I used to love HK in high school. It was my 'thing,' which basically meant I carried around a lot of HK paraphernalia and my friends always gifted me with more. Once I packed up and headed to college, an affinity for Tinkerbell eventually replaced HK. Slowly but surely, I'm growing to love all things Hello Kitty again - I saw a Hello Kitty microwave at Target the other day and nearly died. True story.
  • On Tuesday night I made all of my Christmas cards! I just need to pick up some envelopes and write them out, then they'll be on their way. You can still get in on this - click here to jump to the form.
  • Last night, Erik and I had a major disagreement (okay, call it an argument if you will, but I think that's a dirty word). We eventually worked it out, realizing along the way that we handle our anger and emotions in nearly identical ways (the jury's still out on whether that's a good or bad thing). More importantly, it was one of those fights that forced us to peel back some layers and by the end of it, I felt like we were closer because of it.
  • I successfully spent $100 less on Christmas gifts for friends and family this year than I did last year. I felt really proud of myself. Of course, I quickly realized that the $100 difference was spent on Erik's gifts... at least I didn't spend more than last year? That's good, right?
  • There are still a few Christmas movies I haven't watched yet this year and somehow, they're all of my favorites - The Nutcracker, Love Actually, and The Grinch (the original cartoon). How have I not watched these sooner?! I will definitely be remedying this immediately.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

More Love Letters.

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have heard me tweet a few things about More Love Letters. If you've been to my blog, you may have seen this pretty little badge go up in my sidebar:


So, what's all this love letter business about? That's probably what you're asking, because I'd be a little curious, too.

It started with a girl named Hannah and her amazing blog, of which I'm an avid reader. I'm mostly a silent fangirl, in awe of her way with words so much so that I couldn't compose many comments other than 'wow, that was amazing.' Hannah eventually went on to launch a project and website called More Love Letters. As you may expect, it's all about spreading the love by writing love letters to strangers and leaving them in random places, or sharing love letters on the blog to cheer up the random reader.

This holiday season, the 12 Days of Love Letters was born. A little more back story: on the website, you can sign up for a monthly love-letter-writing campaign. You'll get an e-mail with a brief description of who's receiving that month's bundle and an invitation to write and send off a love note.

The 12 Days of Love Letters is a twelve-day, letter-writing marathon version of the monthly bundles. For the past ten days, a new recipient has been revealed each day, and we've got two more to go (including today's). Via the e-mail list, I signed up specifically for two days, but have found myself writing nearly every day.

It's a little late in the game, but if this sounds really wonderful to you, all of the recipients are still up on the moreloveletters.com blog - just scroll through the posts and you'll find one through eleven. Grab some stationary and a pen and write to one, three, or all of the people in need of a little love this season.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Christmas (& Birthday) Wish List.

'Tis the season for overindulgent wishlists! As you may or may not know, my birthday is a mere two weeks (on the dot!) after Christmas, so all of my gift-receiving is jam-packed into a small period of time. The following is a list of things I'd love to own, both reasonable (meaning I might actually get it) and unreasonable (meaning I'll have to save my own pennies).
I've been lusting after these for the longest time. They're currently on my List of Things to Buy When I Finally Get a Job.

When I saw this in the theater, I loved it. Ash and I were singing along to all the routines and dancing in our seats. I'm trying to cut back of asking for/buying DVDs because I have a huge collection that I rarely watch, but I'm such a Gleek that I have to have it.



No surprises here - I'm a huge dance addict. It makes sense that I squealed with excitement when I first saw the commercials for both of these games. I don't just want these, I need them.

Nail polish!

One of my big accomplishments this year was finally breaking my nail-biting habit after nearly sixteen years. Yeah, that's a long time. So I want to celebrate with lots of pretty nail polish colors! The OPI and Essie brands are a bit out of my 'daily splurge' range so onto my wishlist they go.



I was on the fence about which smartphone to get when I could finally afford one. Well, for his birthday in October, Erik got an iPhone and it took about... a week of seeing him use it and occasionally using it myself to fall completely in love with it.

What are you wishing for this Christmas?

{Have you signed up to receive a Christmas card from me yet? If not, go here and do it!}