How I Spent the Past Two Days.

Hi friends.

Because my life wouldn't be complete without some kind of illness knocking me on my butt every few months, it was decided by the universe that I would have an awful allergic reaction to something that made my body break out in hives. We (my mother and I) think it's the Advil PM Liquigel I took Tuesday night because it's the only thing I'd never had before, so it's the only thing that makes sense. Whether it's a reaction to the contents/coating or the actual ibuprofen itself, we'll never know.

This was the worst bout I've had that I can remember, though I know I had a much worse reaction when they found out I was allergic to penicillin (that was when I was a toddler, though, so I don't remember it). It started mildly enough - just a few bumps here and there and very itchy ears on Wednesday night. I didn't think much of it because that's usually as far as it goes, but as the night went on, things went from bad to worse.


Yesterday was definitely the worst because my body was aching and hot due to all the swelling from the hives. I didn't have a fever, but I had chills because my body was so inflamed. My palms and the bottoms of my feet were itchy - something I've never experienced - my fingers swelled, and I cringed at my reflection in the mirror after I showered and actually saw how bad it all looked.

Thankfully, after a day of taking Benadryl and sleeping, I woke up today to find that the hives were going away a bit. I'm down to a level that I'm used to with allergic reactions and am hoping that they completely go away soon, but at least today I'm able to function enough to leave my bed.

Anyway, I'm crossing my fingers that I'm back to full health in a few days. Happy weekend everyone!

Autumn Goals.

{♥}

In recent years, I've discovered how much I cherish autumn. Sure, summer is fun and filled with barbecues, flip flops, beach trips and warm days, but it's a time to be laid-back. When fall arrives, it feels like a fresh start to me (probably because it's when school starts) and is a time for goal-setting.

Just as I listed a few goals for the sunny summer months, I'm setting a couple more for this season.

Journal every day in October. Considering my month-long quests to do one particular thing every day (vlogging in August, blogging in September) have been pretty successful, I decided to take it offline and journal once a day in October. I have Joy Juice journal prompts in my inbox begging to be written, and while I often get overwhelmed and therefore ignore them because there are so many, responding to one per day is definitely something I can do.

Go with my gut. Inspired by the two most recent Molly Mahar videos/newsletters and my boyfriend's encouragement, I am going to attempt to abandon my tendency to over-think and simply make decisions. I'm an indecisive person and, because of my need to people-please, I utter the phrase 'I don't know' or 'I don't care' way more often than I should. So for the next few months, if I have a preference, I'm going to say so; when there's a decision to be made, I'm picking what I truly want and not what my brain tricks me into thinking is the 'smarter' choice. This challenge is in place for the remainder of the year, but I hope it becomes a habit after that.

That's it, really, since I have my year-long goals and monthly intentions. There might be a daily November challenge if I can think of something worth doing every day again, but we'll see.

Ten on Tuesday [Vol. 38].

1. What is your dream vacation?
Somewhere tropical, on a beach, where I can just completely relax.

2. What has been your favorite trip so far in your life?
I haven't been to many places, and actually, all of my shore weekends in New Jersey are my favorites. They are always relaxing and so much fun because I spend them with family.

3. If you and one of your best friends could go anywhere in the world for one week, where would it be and why?
Disney World. All of my friends love Disney, so any of them would be more than happy to take the journey with me. Depending on who it was, we might also stop by the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. It would be fabulous.

4. Have you ever booked a trip using an online deal? How did it go?
No, because I don't really travel.

5. What’s your favorite thing to do while you’re on vacation?
Relax. And eat, though nowadays that's not as fun with my stomach troubles. I'm not one of those people who likes to do adventurous things on vacation -- I wouldn't be opposed to it necessarily, but it's not something I'm clamoring to do.

6. Have you ever missed an opportunity to take a trip that you regret?
Yes. Last year, my dance BFF Ash went to Disney World for her 25th birthday celebration and I didn't go. I was going through a lot and my anxiety was in a place where I wouldn't have had fun. I wish my circumstances had been different so I could've gone.

7. You travel far away from home and get stranded with no way to buy anything, what’s the one thing you can’t live without?
First of all, that's my worst nightmare. Second of all, I can't even think of a proper response because the idea of this happening freaks me out too much. I guess my iPod (and a charger, I don't care if that's cheating since it's two things) because music would calm me down. Of course, I don't know how that would help me, but at least I would be panicking less.

8. What’s one of your favorite traveling memories?
Playing Old Maid with my best friends from high school on our class trips to Philadelphia and the Poconos.

9. All included resort or backpacking? Why?
All included resort, hands down. See above about wanting to relax on my vacation.

10. Are you more of a lie on the beach kind of person on vacation, or do you prefer to see the sights?
Mostly a beach girl. Again, I'm not completely opposed to seeing sights, but I get bored easily so lounging is the preferable option.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by the wonderful Chelsea of Roots and Rings.

Summer Goals: End of Summer Update

In June, I wrote up a list of summer goals that I hoped to accomplish in the three months of sunshine and sundresses I love so much. Considering the first day of autumn has come and gone (that being said, where did the past three weeks go?!), I figured it was as good a time as any to see how those four goals went.

Get on a regular, normal-person schedule. This... never really happened. It's embarrassing and if I think too much about it, I feel like an absolute failure. Why? Well, I stay up too late and sleep too late, which throws off my eating patterns and does nothing to improve my health. I'm absolutely terrible at waking up in the morning, mostly because I have no reason to do so. It's so easy to hit snooze five hundred times when the only 'obligation' I have most days is to look for jobs... something I despise so much, I sleep in to avoid it. Somehow, this has to change. I feel that if I could just get a handle on my sleeping habits, everything else would be easier to fit into place. Epic fail.

Journal more and work through some of my recurring 'issues'. I did this a few times, but not nearly as often as I had planned. My Joy Juice prompts are piling up in my inbox and I really can't tell why I'm not making them a priority. The one major issue I did journal about -- my inability to ask for and/or receive help -- ended where it started, with confusion as to why I'm physically and mentally incapable reach out to my friends when I'm going through a rough time. But, writing about it did help a bit. Mild success, could've been better.

Read more. Considering my reading frequency was hovering around never, I was bound to make this a success. I just posted about this on Friday, so you know how it went. Success!

Jazz up this space. I got a proper web address and tweaked a few things, but for monetary reasons I didn't look into a new redesign. While I'm happy with my current layout and could probably fashion a new one for myself, I wanted to get something really snazzy, but it'll have to wait until I find a job. Mostly a success!

There you have it! I'd say I did pretty well, considering I kind of forgot these halfway through the summer. I'm hoping to get into my journaling very soon -- I just have to start making a habit of it, either daily or weekly.

How was your summer overall? Did you have any goals? How did they go?

Closet Re-Design.

Before I repainted my room, my closet had photos taped to the door in a grid. Everyone really liked it, but it was difficult to trade old pictures for new ones and all the pictures I took down had sticky residue where the tape was. I was trying to think of a way to easily swap photos and, thanks to some internet inspiration, came up with a clothesline-like setup.

As you'll see, I also pinned up a few non-photo things, like ticket stubs and things like that. My plan is to eventually print out all the pictures I have currently and put them in some albums or boxes, so that I can easily switch photos when I get tired of the ones up there.

And now, for the pictures!

I Like Bullet-Point Lists.

{♥}

• I went to see Lion King 3D last night with one of E's friends from school - his roommate's girlfriend - since the boys didn't care to see it. It was so much fun to re-watch the movie -- we'd both forgotten a lot, except for all the lyrics to all the songs, to which we both shamelessly sang along. It was also really cool that we decided to go together, because we're friends by association. Usually we all just hang out in a group when I go to visit, so it was really great to step out of that setting and actually be friends with E's friends, instead of just being a tag-along because I'm his girlfriend (if that makes any sense at all).

• Tonight I made hot chocolate and decided to add a few dashes of pumpkin pie spice. It's so yummy and a perfect substitute for a pumpkin spice latte when I don't want coffee (or can't afford to buy one every time I want it).

• I'm finally getting around to decorating my room. It was supposed to get done when I finished painting a month ago, but a lot of things kept going wrong. Mostly, none of the wall mounting stickers (3-M and Scotch brands) wanted to stay stuck to my walls. But, I put together the clothesline-like display for my pictures and it looks fab. I can't wait to share some pictures, probably later this week!

Hope everyone's having a great weekend!

Cait Actually Reads!

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I actually went to the library for the first time in forever (and discovered I had twenty cents in fines from 2006, oops). So that begs the question, what am I reading?

The main reason for hitting up the library was that I needed to get my hands on Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. Natalie lent me her copy of The Hunger Games and I ate that up completely, and when I saw they had the second book available at the library, I headed over immediately. I was slow on the uptake - as I was with the first book - but at least in this one I was already invested in the characters and storyline. I just finished the last few chapters last night and was in a tizzy because I need to know what happens next.

The second book I'm in the middle of reading is L.A. Candy by Lauren Conrad. It may seem silly, but when I heard she authored a few novels, it piqued my interest. It's taking a little while to get into it but I'm not counting it out yet.

And finally, I picked up Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer, but I haven't cracked it open yet. It's not for a lack of desire - I've been meaning to pick it up for months now - but I wanted to get through Catching Fire first and then I started on L.A. Candy as light bedtime reading. (Plus, I don't like to be reading more than two books at a time.) Now that I'm down to reading one book, I'll probably breeze through this one this weekend.

On the horizon is, obviously, Mockingjay because I nearly threw Catching Fire across the room when it ended. Other than that, I don't have anything specific in mind - I'll probably consult my to-read list on Goodreads and see what's available at the library.

What are you reading these days? Any recommendations?

Wine and Love [Vol. 10].

hosted by Nora!

Filling my wine glass...

• One of the things on my chore list this week was to go through my box of college textbooks. I expected to feel empowered because I was planning on throwing most of it out... but I ended up feeling hard pangs of nostalgia while I read through essays and all of my accounting notes. On top of that, the "just in case" hoarder in me refused to throw away nearly half of the books/notes, because there's still a 1% chance I'll go into accounting.
  
• As I already mentioned, I wasn't feeling so hot on Tuesday. You would think feeling that miserable would prompt me to make changes in my diet and lifestyle, and yet, I'm still eating junk food daily and not really exercising. Blah.
  
• When E was here this weekend, I got really cranky when I lost horrifically to him and my brother in Mario Party, and again when we played Boggle (I absolutely suck at that game). Being a sore loser is not an endearing quality.

Filling my heart...

•  While looking around for some gift ideas for E (either for his birthday next month or the Christmas/anniversary combo coming up at the end of the year), I found something on Amazon at a ridiculously low price. Seriously. The shipping cost more than the item. I figured that although I have to be tight with money, it was worth buying it now in case the price jumped later.
  
• Seeing Neon Trees in concert was really great. They were actually pretty good -- last year I went to see OK Go at the music festival and they weren't good, so I wasn't expecting much. But I really enjoyed the performance!
  
• When E was here on Sunday, I wasn't feeling well after eating Taco Bell for lunch and had become a total crankerpot after attempting to play Boggle. So while I sulked and drank my tea, he was really quiet and I heard him shuffling around the Boggle cubes, and after a few minutes he showed me this:
  
  
  

  
  Super cute, right? He's a keeper.
  
• I put the picture of me and E (that I posted on Tuesday) on my phone as the background image and I get all smiley every time I check my phone and see it.
  
• There is a lot of fun stuff coming up for me in the next month or so:  bridesmaid dress shopping for BFF Wedding #2, a party at my house while my parents are away, E's birthday, dinner with my aunt, a shopping trip with Lynds, and hopefully I few others things I have yet to plan, like a recital-watching marathon with Ash and dinner with my Lady Lumps.

Rainy Tuesday.

Today, I'm sick. My stomach's giving me hell, more so than it usually does.

(Perhaps this weekend's diet consisting solely of sub sandwiches, Taco Bell, and fried Oreos was a poor combination.)

So while I catch up on reading (Catching Fire and L.A. Candy) and potentially find enough energy to do the chores I'm supposed to be doing, you can take a gander at a few more wedding pictures -- this time, they actually all include me! Because that's all you care about anyway, right?

Waiting for the bride to make her entrance.

 Relaxing with the girls in the bridal suite!

 Me and E at dinner - the only picture we thought to take together.

{taken by Natalie}

Weekend Recap + BEDS Day 19.

This weekend was really wonderful. I ended up spending the majority of my time with E after we decided last-minute to hang out and watch a movie on Friday night. We already had plans to spend Saturday and Sunday together, so it was fun to have a whole weekend together.

There were several games of Mario Party (in which I won once and lost horribly once), a free Neon Trees concert at the local music festival, walking around hand-in-hand weighing our options for greasy overpriced fair food (we went with a cheesesteak, hot pretzel, funnel cake, and fried Oreos between the two of us), lounging around in bed all Sunday morning, and fulfilling the Taco Bell craving I had by getting it for lunch.

And now, time for a BEDS prompt since I need a little ego boost anyway and this topic definitely does that.

Day 19 → A talent of yours

It's your lucky day, because I'm going to share a few with you - four to be exact.

First is baking. I'm not the greatest at cooking, but I have yet to have a truly epic baking fail.

Second is dancing. The following video is from a few years ago when I danced solo in a shopping mall for a charity event.




Finally, I'm particularly good at picking out good gifts and finding the positive in any situation. I talked about these a bit more during VEDA:

Fall Television.

A side effect of having homebody parents has been that I love watching television. My mom is always watching something and recording at least one other show on any given night, so it's easy to curl up on the couch and join her. That means that when fall comes around, I get so excited because it means the premieres and returns of so many awesome shows. Here's a quick look at what I'll be watching this season!

On Mondays, I plan on watching The Sing-Off and hope to watch until it ends, but I might get bored of it. However, I will watch Castle every single week -- not only is it hilarious, but last season's finale was so crazy and emotional that I can't wait to see what happens next.


Tuesdays bring Glee, which is a total given. This is one of the shows on my 'must watch' list. I'll also be checking out New Girl because it looks absolutely fantastic and Zooey Deschanel is adorable.

For Wednesdays, another one of my 'must watch' shows is Modern Family, which E and I have been watching together (we finally caught up on the rest of Season 2 today). It's so, so funny and I've just fallen in love with all of the characters. We'll also be watching Up All Night, which premiered this past Wednesday and was decently funny.

Thursdays are a bit up in the air. I love all the comedies on - Big Bang Theory, Community, and Parks & Rec, in particular - but I don't know if I'll be dedicated enough. I'm also torn between Person of Interest and Bones, because I've been watching Bones on and off for a while but Person of Interest looks really awesome.

And that's it! Anyone else out there a TV addict like me? What are you watching this season? (Also, if you are a fan of any of the shows that aren't new this season and want to chat about them, let me know! I love talking about TV.)

Playing Favorites.

On the list of BEDS topics, the first few are about our favorite things. Since I like common themes and I didn't use any of those topics on those days, I'm going the first five prompts.

Your favorite song
My love of music is far too expansive for me to only pick one favorite, so here are three: Only the Good Die Young by Billy Joel; The Middle by Jimmy Eat World; Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson.

Your favorite movie
I'll list my top five, just for kicks -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off; Dirty Dancing; Grease; Anchorman; Centerstage.

Your favorite television program

So You Think You Can Dance?

Your favorite book
It's a tie between the Harry Potter series (if I had to pick a favorite, I'd go with Deathly Hallows) and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

Your favorite quote
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -- Ferris Bueller

Share some of your favorites in the comments - pick one or answer them all! I'm curious.

Friday Finds.

I found a lot of cool stuff floating around the blogosphere this week, so I decided to round up all of the posts I found inspiring.

Don't believe everything you think. I'm pretty terrible with letting my brain get the best of me. Here's a list of four questions to help you remember that just because you think it doesn't mean it's true.

It only takes a moment. As a firm believer in random compliments, this post really touched me. This is the kind of person I strive to be - one who notices the little things and tries to cheer people up whenever possible.

Journaling to stay present. While I don't journal nearly as often as I should, I found this so insightful. I think I've accomplished all three of the main points mentioned at some point or another, but I really want to get back into the habit of journaling regularly so I can make sense of my life more often.

One of my blog crushes, Amy from Just a Titch, posted this week about changing your eating habits. I'm (very slowly) trying to get on a better, healthier diet, and I loved all of her tips - I especially agree with never saying never, because once you tell yourself that you can't have something, you're going to crave it more!

Confession time: I have a handful of wedding blogs in my GReader, so I get a healthy dose of wedding stuff every day. This, though, is the best thing I've seen - a make-your-own s'mores bar!

 

{via Grey Likes Weddings}

Happy Friday everyone!

Wine and Love [Vol. 9].

 hosted by Nora!

Filling my wine glass...

• A couple rough days health-wise after the wedding. Like I mentioned, I had underlying anxiety and once everything was over, my body was done. I'd hoped to get my health in line for that exact reason because I'm tired of having to have "recovery days" after big events, but I didn't get it under control in time.
  
• It was really hot yesterday. No hotter than it's been all summer, but since we'd started to settle into autumn temperatures, yesterday's hot and humid weather wasn't fun.

Filling my heart...

• Playing Mario Party with E, even though I lost big time.
  
• Fall television! E and I watched Up All Night (we loved it) and I can't wait for the rest of the premieres, especially Glee, The New Girl, Modern Family, Castle, and maybe even some Dancing with the Stars, if I can put up with it.
  
• I got a pumpkin spice frappuccino on Saturday and it was glorious.
  
• Making cheesecake for the first time and having it be a big success! I was worried the consistency and/or flavor would be off, but it tastes just like we bought it from a bakery. (Recipe here, from Bakerella!)

These Are My Confessions.

This whole blogging-every-day thing is really tough, you guys. I don't like today's suggested topic and I'm totally stumped. Time for some random confessions.

1. I am totally impatient when it comes to people posting pictures after an event. During Friday's festivities, the MOH and our junior bridesmaid were snapping pictures all day and night, and I'm dying for them to get posted. I already have to suffer through the wait for the professional photos, I want something.
2. E left an extra set of clothes here (for when he forgets to bring some, which has happened a handful of times) and I have been shamelessly sleeping with his shirt because it smells like him. Is that weird? I don't really care if it is, because I'm going to keep doing it.
3. I am slowly running out of money. It's not pretty. And it's embarrassing, because my grandparents gave me a significant amount of money to put towards Danielle's wedding (for the dress, shoes, gifts, etc.)... and I spent all of that money, even though half of it wasn't wedding-related. It makes me feel awful.
4. Occasionally, when I don't hear from people for a long time, I imagine they're planning a surprise for me and that's why they haven't been in touch. But then I remember they're probably just super busy. Still, it's fun to pretend sometimes!
5. My job search has to start up again soon (especially with my dwindling bank account), and even though I know it's a necessity for me now - both for monetary and health/anxiety reasons - to get a job that isn't prestigious, I still feel like a supreme disappointment to everyone. I grew up being the honors student, the prized daughter and first grandchild who was destined for and capable of being something amazing, like a doctor or teacher... and I'm going to end up with a mundane desk job. That's really why the job search takes so much out of me; I feel like a huge failure.

Ten on Tuesday [Vol. 37].

WOULD YOU RATHER:

1. eat chocolate covered grasshoppers or this freaky squid thing?
OH MY GOD. Chocolate covered grasshoppers, for sure. That squid is SCARY. I'm going to have nightmares.

2. never see another movie or never watch TV again?
No more movies. I love TV too much to give it up, plus, I don't watch too many movies to begin with.

3. be a superhero with a lame power or a supervillain with an awesome power?
Superhero with a lame power. You never know, the lame power could come in unexpectedly handy.

4. eat only salty snacks for the rest of you life, or only sweet snacks?
This is a difficult question because I love both. I think I'd have to go with sweets.

5. never read another book or never hear another song?
Never read another book. Sorry, but I love my music way too much to give it up.

6. be a whale carcass remover or a sewer inspector?
There is no way in hell that I'm voluntarily diving into a pool of excrement, so whale carcass remover it is.

7. have no electricity or no running water?
No running water. In my mind, it's more of a necessity... I could get along okay without electricity, but without water I would not be okay.

8. be a dog or a cat?
Cat! Definitely.

9. always be hot or always be cold?
Always be cold. I hate being hot.

10. be forced to watch all 3 High School Musicals on an endless loop, or the Twilight movies?
High School Musical, since I already enjoy them. I know that I'd likely change my mind after watching them over and over, but I imagine I would go insane faster on the Twilight movies.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by the wonderful Chelsea of Roots and Rings.

The Wedding.

Because I know it will be forever until the professional photos come in, I'm sharing some pictures from Friday's wedding that I "borrowed" from everyone else who remembered to take their cameras out. But first, a quick recap.

After a week of rain and an overcast morning, the sky cleared and the sun started shining around 10am Friday morning. It was surprising to me because I was so busy getting ready that I didn't notice until I went to pack up my car. I ended up doing my hair, makeup and nails all on my own because it was easier, cheaper, and less stressful. They all came out close to my perfectionist standards, so I was happy.

At Danielle's house, it was pretty quiet and calm. I don't know why I'd expected chaos, but it was the complete opposite. We watched cartoons, snacked, and got ready in plenty of time, then packed into the limo. It was a short ride and I hopped out first to check my phone (which was in the trunk of the limo) to see if E had picked up the marriage license in time; he had and was on his way, but we ended up starting without him because the priest said it was alright.

The ceremony was beautiful. I cried as soon as the bridal chorus queued up, before I even saw her come down the aisle. That was the most emotional part, though I did tear up at all the expected moments (rings, vows, the kiss). After a few family pictures, we headed over to the reception hall.

The place where it was held was amazing. The staff was incredibly attentive - they came out with a tray of ice-cold bottled water for everyone, which I desperately needed - and it was just beautiful. Our bridal suite was kick-ass, with a variety of drinks, hot and cold food, and snacks like candy bars and bags of chips. All the girls kicked off our shoes and relaxed on the sofas until cocktail hour began.

Danielle and her husband (whoa, that's going to take some getting used to) decided to mingle during cocktail hour, so Natalie and I were able to hang out with our dates as well as Melissa and her fiance. The spread was unbelievable - a mashed potato bar, a crab cake station, two carving stations, two hot food stations, and a table with all the cold food you could want. I wasn't particularly hungry, so I mooched off of whatever E put on his plate and sipped at a Cosmo.

Soon enough we were called back to the bridal suite to prepare for our entrance and the start of the reception itself. Our entrance was down a flight of stairs and then we all lined up to form an arch for the newly-wedded couple. After that, it was party time. The table where Natalie and I were seated ended up being right next to the band, so they kept pulling us on the dance floor.

That middle photo is of the flower girl and the maid of honor. Our FG did such a great job and was so fun to be with throughout the day, because she was so excited. Also, our MOH was brilliant, especially for wearing brown loafer slippers at the reception.

The band, the food, and the ambiance of the room was absolute perfection. I cried again during their first dance, the father-daughter dance, and the speeches. My favorite part of the night, aside from all the wedding-related stuff, was getting to dance with E. Prior to this, I'd only ever slow-danced with awkward prom dates; it made me all swoony to dance with someone I actually care about and love. It was clear that everyone was having a fantastic time and I was so happy it went so well. Before long, though, it was time for the party to end.

I had such an incredible time and actually, my anxiety was only a pain in the butt during the drive to the reception. I decided to skip the limo because it was going to be a half-hour drive with about fifteen people squished in, so I had E drive me to the reception hall. (I should also mention that E was such a sweetheart the whole time - he picked up the marriage license, happily drove me to the hall, made sure I was feeling better when he saw me at cocktail hour, and saved all the paper goods from the wedding.)

It still feels surreal, like they're not actually married, but I know it will sink in eventually. I'm just glad that they had a pretty flawless day from start to finish, and that I got to share it with them.

Ten Years.

Usually I'm a huge advocate of talking about and remembering September 11, 2001. So far, every year I've either told the story of that day from my eyes or shared something relevant. With it being the tenth anniversary, I expected to feel the same way and want to re-post my story or talk about the day.

However, I've found that this year, everything seems to be triggering my anxiety. I guess I suppressed the more serious emotions underlying the day and that now, they're starting to come out. The last time my dad started telling his story (to my cousin's girlfriend, who'd never heard the whole thing), I had to leave the room because I felt light-headed. When my mom was watching one of the 9/11 specials earlier this week, I felt panicky and started crying.

Instead, I'll just be posting links to things I've written in the past that explain what I went through on this day, ten years ago.

My September 11th
September 12th, 2001
Top of the World (yesterday's post)

I feel that those posts accurately flesh out my experience and I thank you if you take the time to read them all.

As for me, I'll be watching football and catching up on some reading. I'll never ever forget how I felt ten years ago, but I just can't torture myself by watching the footage over and over.

Top of the World.

BEDS Day 10 → A photo of you taken over ten years ago 

This is my dad and a very teenager-y me who still thought I could get away without bras (you can't tell in this picture, but someone really should've corrected my error). The importance of this photo can't be seen; I have to explain it.

This picture is from my dad's former office, located on what was the sixty-fourth floor of World Trade Center One.

(Before I go on, my dad is fine. Yes, he was at work on September 11th, but he was able to get out in time.)

I visited his workplace for probably the third time in my life a mere two weeks - to the day - before the buildings came crashing down. We also visited the South Tower, where you could go to the top and look out of huge windows at the city below. It was actually a wonderful day and I'm glad I got to experience it.

Unfortunately, this photo only brings sadness into my heart. It was my dad's office, where he kept knick knacks and photos, the place that was essentially his home away from home. To know that all of the things in that office were reduced to ash... it brings a realness to what happened that day. It's a sober reminder of what my dad had to go through when he left in the middle of a confused frenzy on that sunny September morning only to turn around and see that the place he worked every day was suddenly gone.

I'm so grateful to have my father, safe and sound, because I know how many people lost loved ones. But the events of that day took something from my dad, something that would be hard to replace. They took his sense of security and instilled in him a sense of anxiety that won't ever go away. I wouldn't say he's that noticeably different after what happened, but I know he is. Because there's no way you can ever erase something like that from your memory.

Today.

Today is BFF Wedding #1.

Today.

This day has arrived after much anticipation and excitement. Even back in the fall of 2007, when Danielle, Natalie, Melissa and I were living together at college, we knew this day was coming. That may seem ridiculous, but every time Danielle’s boyfriend, A, visited, Natalie would ask – without fail – when he’d be popping the question.

At first it was a playful joke; the two had been dating for a few years and while marriage seemed to be inevitable, it wasn’t the right time. Still, as years went on, the question because less of a laughable suggestion and more of a serious inquiry.

We finally got the answer to our question in December of 2010. The three of us had standing plans to hang out, but Natalie received a text from A that morning to say he had a surprise planned and that Danielle would have to miss out. Well, after asking and assuming and hoping for the past three years… we knew this had to be it. And we were right.

It’s now approximately eight months later, give or take a few days. How Danielle managed to plan this in that time span, I’ll never know – she’s a super hero in my book. The day is finally here and it seems so unbelievable. Personally, this is the first wedding I’ve been involved in and only the second I’ve ever attended. She’s the first of our group of friends to get married and I just know I’m going to cry buckets of tears.

I hope that the rain will disappear – or at least hold off – and that the day goes by with as few hiccups as possible. But most of all, I wish my best friend decades of happiness with her soon-to-be husband. It’s going to be a wonderful celebration of their love, a love that has withstood many challenges and which I look up to as an example of what I expect in my own life.

Today.

Today my best friend gets married.

Wine and Love [Vol. 8].

 hosted by Nora!

Filling my wine glass...

• Anxiety. For any major event, I usually get a healthy dose of underlying anxiety, even when I'm not actively stressed. Since BFF Wedding #1 is mere days away, my mind and body have been exhausting me with unnecessary fretting.
• More rain. Please, Mother Nature, spare us from rain on Friday. Or, at least reserve it for the evening once we're all tucked inside the reception hall.

Filling my heart...

• WEDDING FEVER. (You had to know that was coming.) Saturday night was Danielle's bachelorette party, which included a trip into NYC for dinner, karaoke, and dessert. On Tuesday I made a last-minute trip to be the witness for the submission of their marriage license application and helped print, fold and stamp letters for the welcome bags. E is in charge of picking up their marriage license (it's on his way to the church), the rehearsal dinner is tonight, and tomorrow one of my best friends is getting married! It's so surreal.
• My boyfriend being generally awesome and listening to me excitedly rave and stress out about the wedding. And for letting me share his mozzarella sticks last Friday while we were out with his friends. And for agreeing to pick up the marriage license even though I totally volunteered him for the task before asking. He's a gem.
• Pumpkin iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts. Also, the Pumpkin Spice Latte is back at Starbucks and I'm getting one Saturday morning because that's when my coffee restriction ends (it doesn't always agree with me, otherwise I'd get one to sip during wedding prep).
• Cooler weather. Despite the rain (boo!), I loved wearing jeans and a cardigan this week out of necessity. I'm a little sad about the departure of summer, but I'm so excited for fall.

Happy Photos.

As I mentioned on Sunday, I'm challenging myself to blog every day in September (BEDS). I'm following this list of prompts for when I find myself in need of a topic; today is one of those days.

Day 07 → A photo that makes you happy

I'm cheating and doing two:

 My best friends.

The only trip we ever took, just the three of us. We went to the shore and hit up the beach, of course. I found a patch of super-flat sand and suggested we make footprints, but then someone suggested handprints and they turned out much better. They are the best friends I never had growing up; to come across both of them at the same time (spring semester of sophomore year of college) and develop this long-lasting friendship with them is truly incredible.

The night it all began with E.

This was after he cornered me to talk to me and get my number. I felt so incredibly awkward in this picture because we were trying to pretend we hadn't just had a private, flirty, twenty-minute conversation in the middle of the party. He randomly sat down next to me and I remember having butterflies rocketing around my stomach. Looking at this picture reminds me of that feelings and makes me see how far we've come, and I can't stop a big silly grin from crossing my face.

Ten on Tuesday [Vol. 36].

{♥}

1. What temperature do you keep your thermostat on during the day?
No idea, since I'm living at home and that falls under the category of things under my parents' control.

2. What temperature do you keep your thermostat on at night?
Again, no idea. But I have an air conditioner in my room and during the summer, I like to have it at 65 degrees.

3. In a canister of mixed nuts, do you pick out certain varieties and leave the others?
I love cashews, so I usually pick those out first. Then peanuts. I usually leave almonds because I mildly allergic to them.

4. What is your favorite kind of M&M?
It's a tie between pretzel and coconut M&Ms. I used to love the crispy ones, but I think they got rid of them.

5. How do you buy books? (Amazon, bookstore, new, used, electronic, etc)
Usually from Amazon, always new if I'm buying. But since I'm kinda broke at the moment, I borrow from friends and take books out of the library.

6. How do you like your eggs cooked?
Scrambled, not super dry, with American cheese.

7. Can you whistle?
Yes, but not amazingly well.

8. What common word do you always misspell?
Occurrence and occasion. I always forget the extra 'r' in the former and I always add an extra 's' to the latter.

9. Are you afraid of flying?
Yes, very much so. It's mostly a slight claustrophobic and control issue; the idea that I'm "stuck" on a plane and that I can't get off whenever I want gives me anxiety.

10. How often do you go shopping?
I used to do it very, very frequently. Going shopping used to relax me in college - when I got too stressed, the familiarity of walking around the mall or Target helped me calm down. I think this is because I went shopping with my mom every weekend when I was younger, so it became normal for me. Since I live in the suburbs, it's easy to go out for every little thing I need, so sometimes I shop several times a week. I've tried to cut down recently, though, since I have a bad habit of wasting my money.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by the wonderful Chelsea of Roots and Rings.

September.

{♥}

September is going to be lovely. It's bringing the wedding of one of my closest friends this Friday, which means that this month will be forever memorable. It's bringing the annual free music festival to our neighboring county. It's bringing back all things pumpkin-flavored (including the PSL from Starbucks!), cooler weather, cardigans, job-searching, and plenty of time with my friends and boyfriend.

But first, let's check in on those monthly goals and make some new ones for the month.

Get healthy. Not really. I should've been, but wasn't. The only healthy habit I picked up was taking bike rides in the evening now that the weather is cooler.

Work on my anxiety. Yes, little by little. In general, I've felt less anxious about life, which I guess is a sign of improvement.

Live in the moment. Yes.

Stay in touch. Really good! I saw or talked to all of my close friends this month - I was actually pretty social in August. Still, I want to improve more on sending e-mails, letters, or having random text conversations.

Be me and stop worrying what other people think. Yup.

Goals for August: complete VEDA (I only missed one day); catch up on journaling; try the emotional mushy mush talk again with E; really and truly work on my health/schedule; go to the dentist; get a hair cut.

Oops, those didn't go so well. I never found time for the sappy discussion with E (though I tried on several occasions and chickened out), I didn't stick to the healthy schedule I set out for myself, and I still haven't been to the dentist. Yikes.

Goals for September: find a job (or at least put a lot of effort into finding one); go to the dentist; try to be as anxiety-free as possible for my friend's wedding; visit Lyndsay at my alma mater; finish decorating my room.

Summer Photo Challenge: Week 11 + #BEDS.

hosted by Stopping for Daisies!

Confession: this picture wasn't taken this week. I was just so busy hanging out with E and getting ready for Saturday's bachelorette party that I completely ran out of time. Our challenge was bokeh, so I found the best example I could find that was still relatively summer-like - this picture is from spring of 2010.



Also, after a successful month participating in VEDA (Vlog Every Day in August), I'm following up with BEDS (Blog Every Day in September). I heard about it from Katherine, one of the new friends I met through VEDA, though from what I gather it was originally suggested by Christa.

Anyway, there are a list of prompts, but they will only be for days when I don't have something else about which to blog. Basically, I won't be double posting - one for the prompt, one for a separate topic - at any point. And yes, I realize I already missed a day (yesterday) but I don't plan on missing any other days.

Let #BEDS begin!

Adieu, August.

August was a wonderful month. It went by in a flash – as every month tends to do – but it was fantastic.

My month was filled to the brim with so many things. I indulged in my obsessions with Ashley, going to see the 3-D Glee movie, watching the SYTYCD finale, and planning to take a trip down to her shore house for the upcoming holiday weekend. I participated in VEDA, recording and watching tons of videos and making some new internet BFFs.

Strangely, this month contained a lot of drinking. First it was #winetoreach with some VEDA folks, then a crazy girls’ night in with Lyndsay, and finally an evening of playing drinking games with E and his friends.

E and I actually went on a real “date” this month – normally we just hang out at each others’ houses or with friends. But one week, we decided to go play miniature golf and made a deal that the loser had to buy dinner (I won and ordered the yummiest cosmo ever to celebrate). The rest of our weekends together were really great too, as usual.

Other notable things: I finally painted my ceiling and started redecorating my bedroom; I attended Bella’s sixth birthday party; I ordered tickets for the SYTYCD tour in October; I went to a Ke$ha concert and had a blast (while getting soaked by the rain); I got in my first real fight with E; I had lunch with Mark and heard about his trip to Palau; I made Oreo cupcakes with Melissa; and, I survived Hurricane Irene.

It was a busy thirty-one days and I can hardly believe that one of my best friends will be married a week from today (!!!), but I’m ready for the fall and looking forward to how the rest of my year will play out.

Wine and Love [Vol. 7].

...hosted by Nora!

Filling up my wine glass...

• Hurricane Irene. We were actually really fortunate because we had pretty much no damage or flooding. The worst was that our basement flooded very slightly around the perimeter and we lost internet/cable for most of the day on Sunday. But it just threw a wrench in all of my plans and was extremely tiring, because we expected, worried about, and prepared for much worse.
  
  
• When I babysat in high school, my primary client was a family with three kids who live down the street. Since they were also my neighbors, I hung out with them all the time, both before and during my time as their babysitter. The oldest one graduated high school in June and went to boot camp recently, and his sister just put up on Facebook that he's having a really tough time (the upperclassmen apparently chose him as one of their targets to pick on the most). It just breaks my heart because they're like my babies - I still remember him being my partner in helping corral his younger brother and sister and it hurts me to know that he's struggling.
  
  
• I have made pretty much zero progress on getting back to a healthy schedule. I mean, I've scaled back my wake-up time to before noon (yeah, that's how bad it was), but my eating is still way off and I haven't been feeling any better. From here on out, my only plans are for this weekend - the bachelorette party and some quiet time down the shore with Ash - and I'm really putting myself on a strict schedule and diet.

Filling up my heart...

• On Friday, during my visit to see E, we hung out with his friends and played drinking games all night. I'm usually not so great because I never drank in high school or college, but I was doing pretty well and holding my own. It's a silly thing to be proud about, but I am.
  
  
• Yesterday I went to the library after not having visited in such a long time. As I walked out with my books and put them in the backseat of my car, I was overcome with nostalgia about summers past. When I was a kid, they had reading challenges at the library so I would go every week, leaving with an armful of books into the humid summer air and piling into my mom's car.
  
  
• E moved back into school on Tuesday! We took immediate advantage - I headed over there after work to meet his friends and hang out in a dorm room (memories!), then he came home with me and slept over my place. These next few months are going to be amazing.
  
  
• Last week I picked up my bridesmaid dress for BFF Wedding #1! I can't believe how close we're getting... it's only eight days away. I can't deal.
  
  
• The weather post-Irene has been gorgeous here. I've been laying out every day for a little while in the hopes I'll pick up some color so that I don't look like a ghost at the wedding. And surprisingly, it's actually been working!