Ten on Tuesday [Vol. 35].

{♥}

1. What is your favorite brand of shoes?
I don't have one. I buy whichever ones look and feel the best from a variety of stores, usually Target and Payless.

2. How old were you when you learned to tie your shoes?
Hm.. I can't really remember. Probably first or second grade? Maybe?

3. How do you feel about freckles?
I don't feel particularly strong about them either way. I like them, I guess.

4. I can count to ten in ___ languages.
Two. Just English and Spanish. I used to know it in Japanese, but 1) I forgot and 2) I then heard we were doing it wrong.

5. What is your favorite store-bought ice cream flavor?
Mint chocolate chip or birthday cake.

6. Were you in ballet or gymnastics as a little girl?
Both! I took gymnastics for about two years and wasn't that good because I was too tall, which made it difficult to do tumbling, and had weak arms. I was best at balance beam because I had strong legs and a strong sense of balance. As for ballet, I took that for... three years as a kid, two as a teen. But I also took fifteen years' worth of other dances classes (jazz, tap, hip hop, lyrical).

7. Who is your favorite Sesame Street character?
Didn't we just have this question? It's too hard to pick, I love all of them. Maybe Snuffleupagus is my favorite.

8. What’s your bedtime?
This falls under my "I don't talk about my sleeping habits" category.

9. Do you have any jewelry that you wear every single day?
Yes! My claddagh ring (which I feel naked without) and a red-string bracelet that has a small heart charm.

10. Who is the bug killer in your household?
My mom. Sometimes I'll do it. If I'm with E, I make him do it even though we both hate bugs equally.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by the wonderful Chelsea of Roots and Rings.

Summer Photo Challenge: Week 10.

hosted by Stopping for Daisies!

Wow, it's already week ten! I can't believe there are only two more weeks left. This week our challenge was to photograph something cold, so when I picked up an iced coffee while running around on Friday, I knew it was the perfect subject for my photo.

Where I've Been.

At the Ke$ha concert last Friday with Lynds and two of her friends.

I’ve become inadvertently pretty busy these days, except not with anything super crazy. It’s a mix of the following:

• VEDA (Vlog Every Day in August). Not that making videos itself takes a lot of time, but editing them takes a bit of time and watching and commenting on others’ videos takes up a bunch of time. When I’m not reading blogs, I’m watching vlogs. (And loving it, by the way.) Check out my channel here.
  
  
• Wedding fever. Okay, I know I mention the upcoming wedding of one of my best friends a lot, but you must understand that I am wedding obsessed in general, and this is the first wedding I've actually attended, never mind the fact that it's someone to whom I am really close. Being a bridesmaid is a lot of fun for me, and I’ve been busy with dress fittings, finding shoes, finding a good strapless bra (arguably the hardest part), putting together a special gift, and planning the logistics of that weekend.
  
  
• Time with friends. I’ve recently: had a girls night with Lyndsay; seen the Glee 3D movie with Ashley; baked cupcakes and gushed about wedding details with Melissa; went to a Ke$ha concert with Lyndsay and her friends; watched the SYTYCD finale with Ashley.
  
  
• Time with E. I typically spend at least half of every weekend with him, since that’s the only time I get to see him. Luckily, he’ll be back at school starting next week, meaning he’ll be a twenty minute drive from me! Of course, that likely just means we’ll spend more time together.
  
  
• Working and doing chores. I’ve been doing my best to pick up as many hours as possible at my part-time job so I can keep up with wedding costs. The job hunt is on hold because I'm trying to keep my anxiety levels low as we get into the last two weeks leading up to the wedding. Also, in lieu of paying my parents rent, I do odd jobs around the house. Recently I let my hours fall by the wayside (I’m supposed to clock five per week), so I’ve been doing a ton of things from yard work to scrubbing the shower to re-painting the banisters.

So basically, life got in the way of blogging. Which is totally acceptable, but I miss it a lot. Once VEDA ends and the wedding is over (in two weeks!), I should be back to a more normal posting schedule.

In the meantime, tell me what you've been up to! I've been trying to stay up-to-date on blogs, but catch me up anyway.

[almost] wordless wednesday.

Once again, I'm late with my Summer Photo Challenge picture this week. I've also been really busy (and then stressed out about being busy) so I've been a little MIA. I'll be back soon.

This week our challenge was trees, so I took a few pictures over the weekend when I traveled to see E. He lives in the more mountainous part of New Jersey, which means lots and lots of trees.

Someone on my side.

{♥}
For most of my adult life, I’ve been looking for support from those around me, the lack of which has attributed to my low self-esteem. I have parents who rarely say ‘good job,’ so I never felt successful and feel I never will be. I had an ex-boyfriend who would try to hold my hand through everything, making me feel like I couldn't do things on my own.

My parents are not the greatest motivators, nor are they good at being supportive; they’re much better at pointing out my shortcomings than my accomplishments. My ex-boyfriend – whom I only mention because there should be a certain level of support in a relationship – was intent on ‘helping’ and ‘fixing’ things, becoming overly-involved in my quests to get healthy and find a job. It reached a point where he would become disappointed and resentful when I didn’t make a sufficient amount of progress, which eventually became one of the reasons our relationship didn’t last.

Until recently, the only taste I'd had of true encouragement is from my friends, particularly my four best friends from college. They give me a pat on the back for a job well done, even for the smallest things, and have been incredibly supportive despite the mess my life has been for the past few years. Unfortunately, I don't talk to or see them on a daily basis and they are incredibly busy with their own lives, so I don't have them cheering me on in my day-to-day life.

That all changed when I started dating E. Even before we were officially a couple, I casually mentioned that I struggle with health and anxiety issues; his immediate response was to tell me he wanted to be there for me (although I attribute some of that to him wanting to win me over). But since then, I've realized he truly means it. The greatest example came the other day, when I was working on my job search. I wasn’t even applying to jobs yet, just looking up possibilities, but when I told E what I was up to he sent me a couple of encouraging texts. They were simple messages, like ‘keep it up’ and ‘I’ll be here to support you,’ yet they had such an incredible impact.

I can remember telling my ex countless times, “I need you to get out of problem-solving mode and stop ‘helping,’ I just need you to be there for me and listen and say ‘good job’ every once in a while.” He could never do it. Over and over I argue with my parents, pleading with them to stop pointing out all of my downfalls and recognize a job well done. They can't do it.

So when, on a random weekday afternoon, my boyfriend texted me to essentially say you’ve got this and I’ve got your back, I could’ve cried. I actually am crying as I type this. Because that’s what I’ve been missing and that’s what I’ve really needed. Because someone said outright that they know I’m capable of something, they trust I can do it on my own, but that they are there for me to lean on as I go along. Because it is exactly what I’ve been asking of people my entire life.

I didn’t intend on this post coinciding with an anniversary of sorts, but it was actually around this time last year that E first approached me to hang out. Of course, I said no the first time, mainly because I felt my life was in complete shambles and I was in no condition to be in a relationship. Little did I realize that he was going to be the one to help me put everything back together again.

summer photo challenge: week 8.

hosted by Stopping for Daisies!

This week our challenge was black & white. I took a couple of artsy photos yesterday, but then I remembered the ridiculous photos I'd taken with Lyndsay during our girl's night on Monday and decided I liked those much better. This one is my favorite - it shows how crazy we are during our dance parties. (Yes, I realize our heads are cut off, but I sort of like it better that way. Not sure why.)

summer photo challenge: week 7.

hosted by Stopping for Daisies!

This week our theme was splash. I went outside the box for this one again because I was nowhere near a pool or the beach this week - those would've been my go-to scenarios for capturing the theme. Instead, during the on-and-off rain showers yesterday, I hopped in my car and took pictures of the rain splashing on my windshield.

bye july, hello august.

{♥}

I feel like I blinked and July was gone. The month kicked off with a party down the shore at Ash and Cort's that I attended with E, which was loads of fun. E and I "celebrated" our six-month-versary (by which I basically mean, it happened and neither of us made a big deal out of it), and I attended a few parties with him and got to know his friends a little better.

Throughout the month I was also heading up a project that I can't talk about here, but which just finished up at the end of the month. That was giving me a lot of stress because I was coordinating everything and wasn't sure if people would be into it, but in the end, everyone was and the finished product is going to be fantastic.

Other than that, I spent a lot of time with E, saw Harry Potter and cried my face off, finally got a blog domain, and wished it would be just a little less hot out. I can't really believe more that half the year is gone and there's only one month left of summer, but there it is.

August is probably going to be relatively low-key again, though it should pick up around the midway mark. I have a lot of little things to do to prep for BFF Wedding #1 - get my hair cut, get fitted for my bridesmaid dress, figure out my jewelry situation, and decide if the size 8.5 or size 9 shoes fit better. This weekend is crazy busy, next weekend is shaping up to be busy, I'm going to see Ke$ha on the 19th, and E goes back to school (aka, back to living 20 minutes from me) at the very end of the month. So there's quite a lot going on, actually. Plus, I'm doing VEDA! And reading Harry Potter! And continuing the Summer Photo Challenge!

Anyway, now it's goal check-in time.

Get healthy. Yes and no. I’m trying to stop eating sugar again, but that only happened towards the very end of the month. I did make a schedule for myself but I have not been following it at all.

Work on my anxiety. The only thing I’ve really been doing is working on my tolerance level. Instead of letting anticipatory anxiety get to me, I push through it, breathe, and let it pass. This has allowed me to attend many things without second guessing myself or cancelling before I even get there, which I used to do a lot.

Live in the moment. Yes. Particularly when I’m with E, because I only see him once a week and during the rest of the week, I miss him a lot. When we’re actually together, I make an effort to be in the moment.

Stay in touch. Bad, bad, bad. Just… bad. The only people I saw a lot of were E (obviously) and Natalie. So August will be my month to get in touch and hopefully make plans with everyone.

Be me and stop worrying what other people think. It didn’t really come into play this month.

Goals for July: make a dentist appointment; grow out the rest of my nails (almost there!); be more forthcoming about my emotions in my relationship (I tried and failed); apply to jobs; spend less time on the internet; stop spending money unless absolutely necessary.

Goals for August: complete VEDA; catch up on journaling; try the emotional mushy mush talk again with E; really and truly work on my health/schedule; go to the dentist; get a hair cut.

How was your July? Looking forward to August?

[almost] wordless wednesday.

Once again, I neglected to post my photo for this week's Summer Photo Challenge (though I did take the picture on time!). This week's theme was flowers, and since I didn't get an opportunity to photograph any fresh flowers, I improvised with my new floral-print shirt from Old Navy.

ten on tuesday [vol. 35].

1. Do you do laundry all at the same time or a load here and there?
I don't usually go through a lot of clothes, so I only do my laundry every week and a half and it's always just one load.

2. What kind of detergent do you use?
Whatever my mom has in the basement, really. I don't pay much attention to what it is.

3. Do you use fabric softener?
Yes, because a lot of my clothes are air dry and I think they feel nicer with fabric softener added in.

4. Do you use dryer sheets?
Yup.

5. Do you iron your own clothes or take them to a cleaner to get pressed?
As of right now, I don't have any clothes that need ironing on a regular basis. If I do, I do them myself.

6. Do you like heavy starch or light starch?
To be honest, I don't even know the difference.

7. Do you wash all your laundry at once or separate it?
All at once. My mom only separates whites from the rest, so she taught me to do everything in one load.

8. How do you separate it? By people or by colors?
I only do my own and I don't separate it.

9. What clothes get hung up and what goes in drawers?
There is very little rhyme or reason to how I decided what to put in my closet and what's in my dresser drawers. My closet is almost exclusively shirts and dresses - casual shirts on one side, dressy shirts/pants and dresses on the other. In my dressers, I have my "basics" - tank tops, cheer shorts, tube tops, tees - and all of my non-dressy pants.

10. Do you use plastic, wire, or wooden hangers? Do they all match?
All plastic. They're mismatched, but I much prefer plastic to any other kind.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by the wonderful Chelsea of Roots and Rings.

monday is for bullet lists.

• This month, in an effort to be more connected to the blogosphere, I'm participating in VEDA, which stands for Vlog Every Day in August. (Never heard of it? Go here to get the info and sign up if you'd like!) I rarely vlog - I've only done it twice - but I've always wanted to do it more often, so this is the perfect way to accomplish that goal. Plus? I think it's going to be super fun. I won't be posting many (or any) videos here, unless I find one particularly worth sharing. If you aren't participating but still want to follow along, click here and subscribe to my channel.
  
  
• I'm coming off of another awesome weekend today. After an afternoon of (successful!) shopping, I headed to E's house on Saturday and we went to a graduation/birthday/new job party for one of his friends. It was a laid-back barbecue, so I spent most of my time lounging in lawn chairs with a beer in my hand, watching the boys plan Kan Jam and bonding with a few of E's friends. On Sunday, we slept in and spent the early afternoon hours snuggling in bed, E with his new Macbook, showing me all the cool stuff on it, and me with my crappy Dell laptop, enviously glaring at him. We headed out to meet Natalie, her fiance, and a couple of their friends for dinner, a last-minute addition and great end to our weekend.
  
  
• My youngest cousin turned seventeen yesterday and I just feel so old. Being seven years older than him, I can vividly remember playing with and taking care of him when my mom babysat. The fact that he now has a job, will be able to drive, towers over me, has gotten past the awkward teenager phase and now hugs me when I see him? I can't deal with it. He needs to stop growing up.
  
  
• I've restarted my sugar fast, although this weekend I definitely cheated. A lot. I got through Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday without any at all. On Friday, plans fell through with E and I got moody about it, so I splurged and had an ice pop. Saturday I had two cookies, and Sunday I went all-out and had a green tea frappuccino from Starbucks, two cookies, a Kit Kat bar, and some peach rings. Whoops. I plan to start it up again tomorrow and go most (or all) of the week without it.