everyone likes lists!

{via}

I had grand plans to sit at my computer all weekend and type away, expecting that my thoughts would suddenly arrange themselves into coherent posts. That... didn't happen.

Of course, part of the problem is that I've contracted my annual winter cold and have subsequently become completely useless. I move from my bed to the sofa in the den to the kitchen table, leaving behind garbage cans full of tissues while moping, drinking tea, and eating soup. Okay, so that only happened today - I had plans Thursday (bumming around here with E), Friday (bumming around at Dunkin with Mark) and Saturday (bumming around at Melissa's) and was feeling well enough for all of them. I thought, oh good, I didn't get it that bad and I've recovered already. Wrong.

I did, however, rifle through my "blog ideas" folder on my computer and found a half-finished list of random facts. Since it's Monday and you probably don't want to read a real post anyway, and because I made you guys share some fun facts about yourselves, here's a list of tidbits about me!

1. When I’m typing a document in Word, I like to set the margins to 0.5" because it’s more aesthetically pleasing to me.
   
2. If I’m in the process of typing something and I misspell or decide to change a word, I erase all the way back and retype it.
3. In the shower, I stand on my tiptoes when I’m rinsing the shampoo out of my hair.
4. I bite my nails mostly out of boredom, not nerves.
5. I eat almost all candy and some types of food in a certain order, like by color or flavor, even when there aren’t distinctive flavors (like M&Ms).
6. I don’t understand the purpose or appeal of Swiss cheese – I think it tastes like wax.
7. Dancing is one of the only things I feel 100% comfortable doing in front of a crowd.
8. I choreograph dances in my mind on a daily basis while I’m listening to music, probably ones I’m not even capable of actually executing.
9. I have two thumb-print-sized birthmarks on my back; my dad says they are thumbprints from God to say “she’s done.” (Which is odd, considering he struggles with his faith these days.)
10. Knee socks are my favorite winter accessory, a habit I picked up from wearing a uniform throughout high school.

frosty friday.

I've been pretty absent from my little space here on the internet and it makes me sad. There isn't really any reason for it, except for the fact that I slipped back into my bad habit of staying up late, waking up late, and not having time to settle down and write.

And I mean, I've also had to deal with this:

Poor little Christmas lights, still up from December.


This snow pile is taller than the cars.


This snow pile is taller than me. Makes clearing the snow both a logical and physical challenge.

There's more snow on its way which, other than being utterly depressing, means that I have very few obligations outside of curling up in bed with a mug of tea and my laptop. My thoughts are all swirling about, although I'm having a hard time not writing post after post gushing about my relationship with E (there will be at least one, don't you worry).

So until Monday rolls around, enjoy your weekend and stay cozy!

ten on tuesday [vol. 18].

{my bedroom window, decorated for Valentine's Day last year}

1. Do you decorate for Valentine’s day?
Absolutely! Everything about this holiday speaks to my girly side, so I deck my room out in reds, pinks, and hearts galore. You can see some of these decorations here.

2. Does your desktop have a picture or computer graphic? Is it organized?
I recently changed it to this lovely wallpaper from Kind Over Matter. My icons are ridiculously organized because arranging things, especially on my computer, helps me to de-stress sometimes and makes me feel productive.

3. Do you use a paper planner, electric planner or no planner at all?
Paper planner. I occasionally try using my Google Calendar, but I always say I'm going to be really on top of it and then I'm not. Having it on paper and with me at all times works much better for me.

4. Do you change purses or bags often or stick with a good thing?
In high school and even into college I switched it up a lot, but now I just stick with a good thing. I've been using the Kathy Van Zeeland that my aunt got me for graduation since I got it, which was in May 2009.

5. What’s your favorite YouTube Video?
As of this moment? This Harry Potter fan video. (Yes, I realize how geeky this makes me.)


6. Do you use Turbo Tax or a real person to pay your taxes?
I do them myself! My parents are financial geeks and I studied to be one, so I just do it myself. Of course, my taxes aren't that complicated at the moment, so it's not like it's too hard.

7. How many states have you set foot (or tire) in? Which ones?
Eleven, if I'm remembering everything. I live in New Jersey, so that's one. I've taken many trips to New York(2) and Pennsylvania(3) for a myriad of reasons, including a trip to the Poconos, trips to NYC, and a few visits to Rocking Horse Ranch as a kid. I was in Connecticut(4) for a SYTYCD show with friends and Ohio(5) and Maryland(6) for conferences while I was in college. My family drove to Florida(7) a few times for trips to Disney, so I've driven through Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia(8-11). Not bad considering I've never been farther east than Ohio.

8. How many countries have you been in? Which ones?
Just this one. I am a travel-phobe, so I haven't been anywhere else.

9. How many pillows are in your house? (Sleeping or decorative)
In my entire house? Um... a lot. Just counting the ones I can think of - on the beds and sofas in the house - 25. That definitely doesn't include all the extras hiding away in closets.

10. How cold is too cold for flip flops?
The earliest I break them out is usually in March.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by Roots and Rings.

just so you know.

{via; cross-posted from my tumblr.}

Life is good, friends.
And while I would love to elaborate with words and words and more words - since that's what I'm good at - I think that simple statement says enough.

ten on tuesday [vol. 17].

{via}

1. What’s your favorite color to paint your nails?
Pink, of course. I bought a really pretty hot pink color to match my Halloween costume that I absolutely love, but any shade of pink will do.

2. Do you like to sneeze?
Weird question, but actually, yes. Especially when I really need to sneeze and I finally do, that's the best.

3. How often do you fill up your car with gas?
I don't really keep track, but I'd say probably two or three times a month? Since I don't have a regular commuting schedule, it varies.

4. Were you named after anyone?
Nope.

5. Have you made any good recipes lately?
Yes! I made artichoke and spinach dip for my birthday party. It's delicious and now I kind of want to make some.

6. What’s an easy money-saving tip that you use regularly?
I check the weekly flyers for stores like Target, CVS, and Walgreens every week and look for things I've been needing, like clothes and makeup, and make lists ahead of time. (I also did this when I was responsible for my own groceries in college and it really helped.) Especially with makeup and toiletries, the chances are good that something I need will go on sale within a few weeks, so it saves me from paying full price for stuff.

7. Would you rather have a sore throat or an ear ache?
Ugh, what an awful choice. Sore throat, I guess, because in my opinion that's easier to soothe (plus, I got strep all the time as a kid, so I'm used to sore throats). An ear ache is just plain annoying.

8. Do you have any scars? What are they from?
A few tiny ones from random childhood incidents. Like I have a small little scar on my knee from when my brother pushed me and my knee slammed into the metal wire cart I was pushing around. I also have one on the back of one of my knees from cutting myself on my rollerblades.

9. What are you “known for” in your circle of friends/family?
Being a miniature Martha Stewart. I craft, bake, organize, decorate, plan parties - basically all the things Martha does, except with a much more basic skill level. I'm also known for my love of all things pink.

10. How do you like to eat your pancakes?
Sometimes with a little pat of butter, but always with good ol' maple syrup.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by Roots and Rings.

grace in small things & a winner!

I usually reserve Grace in Small Things for Friday posts, but I forgot last week and feel like posting some, so let's do this.

• Listening non-stop to the new Britney Spears song.
  
• Talking to Lyndsay about our shared anxiety problems and feeling a little less alone.
• Snuggling with E while watching TV.
• Having a perfect, perfect date night with two of my best friends - sitting on the floor eating Chinese food and watching wedding shows, swapping gifts, catching up, talking about weddings, just like how it used to be at school.
• Being asked to be a bridesmaid in Danielle's wedding(!!!).
• Random texts from E that make me smile.
• Getting my dress from the lovely Miss Ev`Yan.
• Quality time with my brother over quesadillas at 3am.
  
• The Jets winning against the Patriots!
• Watching the Golden Globes and being so, so happy for Chris Colfer, Jane Lynch, and Glee for winning awards.

My post-birthday week was so wonderful in ways I never expected. Reconnecting with my closest friends recharged me just when my post-holiday-and-birthday-blues were setting in. Thank goodness.

Also! As promised, today I'm announcing the winner of my giveaway. I used random.org and the winner is... Stephany! Congratulations! Look for an e-mail from me later today. Thank you to everyone who commented - I'm hopefully going to respond to all of your comments later tonight, but it was so fun to read all the interesting things about my lovely readers.

never alone.

{Dancing to Britney Spears; Christmas 2008}

Last night I had the most perfect date night with Lyndsay. She gave me a PostSecret book for my birthday and we bonded over the secrets we loved. We ordered Chili's To-Go, curled up in our sweats on the sofa and cried our faces off to P.S. I Love You (seriously, why did I even bother putting on makeup?). There were discussions about anxiety, family, and boys, particularly how much she wanted to meet E because I seemed so darn happy.

The night ended with an empty bottle of Chardonnay, hugs, and a rekindled friendship that I deeply missed. Although we've had our issues, she will forever be the person I can go to for anything, one of my biggest cheerleaders, and the little sister I never had.

Reminder: Don't forget to enter my giveaway! It closes Sunday with the winner picked on Monday.

three years old.

Three years ago today, I started this blog with a post about resolutions. It was the start of 2008 and the end of my silly crush on a friend. It was the middle of one of the best years of my life to date, when I roomed with three of my best friends and things were wonderful. It was before my first relationship, before my stress about my career, before I started dealing with health and anxiety issues.

Since then, my life has changed pretty drastically. I still feel like the same person, really - I mean, I still love all things dance and Tinkerbell, am obsessed with the color pink, love with all my heart, and laugh way too much. But a lot has happened. I graduated college, moved back home, stopped dancing, struggled with unemployment and not knowing what I want to do with my life, started and ended my first relationship, started my second relationship, and dealt with changing friendships. I watched my friends grow up, going to and finishing graduate school, getting jobs, figuring out their dreams, and getting engaged.

I chose the name Finding My Balance mostly because of my affinity for using dance references in relation to real life. Balance is an important thing to have as a dancer, but finding balance in life is also crucial. I tend to have an all-or-nothing attitude, so I'm constantly striving to find that balance.

My little corner of the web has been mostly quiet for these three years. I haven't gained too much popularity (like I kind of expected - and wanted - to happen) but I have acquired a lovely little group of friends. It's an unspoken resolution of mine to be in closer contact with both my followers and the people I follow, so be prepared for that.

In honor of my third blogoversary, as a thank you to all of my loyal readers (and also because it makes me feel Special and Important), I'm having my first-ever giveaway!

If you win, you'll receive a nice little package filled with the following goodies, pictured above:

• cupcake-shaped post-its
• a cute notepad
• a sleep mask
• mango lip butter from The Body Shop
  
• a Kit-Kat bar (my favorite candy!)
• one of my Christmas goody bags
  
• a set of four magnets
  

The whole thing is very Cait-esque - basically, this is exactly the type of stuff I'd love to receive in my mailbox. (Also, I may be adding another item or two since I'm due for a trip to Target today and I never know what will catch my eye while I'm there.)

To enter, just leave a comment on this post. I encourage everyone - newbies, lurkers, and loyal readers alike - to come out of the woodwork and tell me a little something about yourself. Maybe a fun fact, or what your favorite pizza topping is, or anything you feel like sharing, really. The winner will be chosen on Sunday night and will be announced here on Monday.

welcome, twenty-four.

{One of a series of the only pictures taken on Saturday night, of E and my brother playing Just Dance.}

Waking up to a plethora of birthday texts and Facebook wall posts. Having silly arguments about what subs to order and what beer to buy, which later turned into hilarious inside jokes. Picking up subs in the snow with my brother. Playing Family Feud with E. Watching E get along splendidly with my family. Wearing my Birthday Princess tiara all night, except when things got serious in Just Dance. Making delicious spinach and artichoke dip. Getting made fun of all night for a family inside joke that E is now in on. Playing WarioWare Smooth Moves under the name Birth. Erupting into laughter when E randomly chose my ex's WiiMii as his own. Totally owning everyone in Just Dance. Dancing my ass off with Ash (like always!) to Proud Mary. Laughing until my abs hurt while watching E and my brother dance to It's Raining Men and Jump (by Kris Kross). Falling asleep on the couch while watching SNL. Cuddling with my guy. Sleeping so soundly after a busy day.

There weren't many pictures snapped, several people had to cancel for various reasons, but I still had an absolute blast. I got a little tipsy with a cozy group of friends and spent most of my night laughing and enjoying every moment.

happy birthday to me.

Twenty-four years ago, at eight-something in the morning, I was born. The world hasn't been the same since.

Fact: I developed my awesomeness early.

I was cheesin' it up all. the. time.

My first birthday was a bit traumatic due to an incident involving a birthday tiara, but I got over it.

My childhood years were filled with more cheesin' and generally stealing the spotlight at all times.

All birthdays after my second birthday (which involved a you-started-singing-happy-birthday-without-me incident, and crying) were subsequently amazing. Probably because I started to appreciate cake a lot more.

My favorite birthday to date was the surprise party thrown for me in my senior year of high school. Even though I suspected it early on, the night before I was expertly convinced that I was wrong.

I don't care if this sounds selfish, but I love my birthday because it's all about me. I'm a giver and I often get caught up in caring more about other people than myself. Therefore, when my birthday comes around, I celebrate all week and treat myself to lots of special little things.

Twenty-four sounds scary, but I'm really excited at the same time because it holds so much promise. Here's to another year of being completely and totally awesome.

birthday week.

{'C' is for Cait; cupcakes from my birthday bash last year}

This Saturday, I'm turning 24. It's a scary number because it sounds old, though I guess I'm going to have to get used to that because every number after that sounds even older. At the same time, I'm thankful that I still get excited about my birthday. I can't ever imagine myself reaching an age where I'll dislike it, but I know it might eventually happen.

My week is and has been chaotic as I plan for my birthday party on Saturday night. Lists have been made, groceries and alcohol have been purchased, my outfit has been picked out, and there is still plenty of cleaning and baking to do. Throw in a couple of days at work this week (I never work two days a week anymore) and plans with friends, and there's my week.

Still, I consider this my birthday week, so I've taken time to do things for me. Watching Live to Dance with Ash and gushing about life, stopping at Starbucks for something yummy, planning a shopping trip later today to treat myself to a few gifts (I'm looking at you, VS Semi-Annual sale), wearing cute outfits even when it's totally unnecessary, and making my relationship with E official (and Facebook official, which is how you it's forreal. Just kidding. I don't really think that).

Needless to say, I'm loving 2011. If it were a person, I would kiss it on the mouth.

P.S. - My third blogoversary is coming up on the 11th and I will hopefully find enough time to carry out my special plans, including my first-ever giveaway! Stay tuned.

my kick-start to 2011.

I was a nervous wreck up until I arrived at Nat and E's house on New Year's Eve because, even without any actual evidence, I had a fairly good feeling that I'd be getting a kiss at midnight. Yet as soon as I pulled into the driveway and walked inside, my nerves began to die down.

The start to our evening was really wonderful – I sat down to a cozy dinner with just their immediate family and Nat’s fiancé. I felt so comfortable chatting and making jokes as we ate yummy food and listened to the most random mix of music in the background. Just as we finished, the boys rushed out to get grapes for a New Year’s tradition about which they’d nearly forgotten (you eat twelve grapes at midnight and make a wish for each).

Nat and I got ready for the party in the mean time, the boys returned, and just before guests arrived, I was sticking lentils in my shoe for another tradition. Apparently if you put lentils in your pocket on New Year’s Eve, it will bring you money in the New Year. Being without pockets, in my boot they went. We’ll see if that works out.

The party had a slow start, but once the girls that I knew arrived, I had a really fun time. Talking and laughing with them – along with sipping at a glass of Arbor Mist mixed with Sprite – brought my nerves down to a manageable level. I still checked my phone every twenty minutes, but I was so entwined in discussions with the girls that the time passed fairly quickly.

Midnight itself it pretty hazy. I remember vividly when there were two minutes left as the timer clicked down on the TV screen. I remember being acutely aware of where E was standing as I clutched my cup of sparkling cider. I remember my head and heart pounding at an increasing rate as the timer got to thirty seconds, in disbelief that it was coming up so quickly. I remember counting down, shouting 'Happy New Year,' drinking my cider, and then it just... happened. Without saying anything, without any of the grandeur and attention that I had fretted about, and strangely, without a single ounce of nervousness left in my body.

I don't really remember what happened for the next ten minutes or so, but I consider that a good thing because I was floating on cloud nine. Eventually I came back to my senses and the party continued. The rest of the party was just as fun as the prior four hours, and as the majority of the guests left, we sluggishly cleaned up and headed to bed. The remainder of my evening was filled with more butterflies-in-the-stomach moments and a goodnight kiss (or two) that took my breath away.

My night was mostly sleepless because of all the excitement, which meant my drive home the following day was torturous. I was fine for the first half, when I blasted Ke$ha and relived all the moments from the previous night. As I got back into my town, I realized I was starving and also feeling hungover from lack of sleep. I dragged myself into Dunkin Donuts because a bagel with cream cheese and a vanilla chai sounded like the best thing in the world, then came home and collapsed into bed.

I was down for the count for the entire rest of the weekend, but it was so absolutely worth it. It was truly one of my best New Year’s ever and I’m still having a hard time believing it all really happened. Having such a fantastic start to 2011 gives me an even better feeling of how awesome this year should turn out to be.

resolutions for 2011.

I know I said I'd have a recap of my New Year's Eve today, but the pictures still aren't up on Facebook and I want so badly to include a few. But, pictures or not, the post will be up tomorrow.

*

Last year, I didn’t make any resolutions. I think I was pretty intent on 2010 being a little lackluster, but I also didn’t really have any specific goals. That doesn’t mean, however, that I made any less progress. Although there were no set goals, I had one overall theme in mind: figure out my life.

I would say I was pretty successful. There were several things about which I put my foot down – missing college, my relationship, an important friendship, my health, and my anxiety. I let myself heal from the whirlwind of emotions I was feeling from all of those things happening all at once. And now, I’m ready to face this brand new year with confidence and a smile on my face, even though I know it’s going to be tough.

Here are my resolutions for the year, which are general and non-quantifiable as usual because I have a terrible time meeting very specific goals.

Get healthy. Oh, how I say this over and over until I’m blue in the face. You’ve probably read it a million times by now, which means I’ve said it to myself a billion times. This. Needs. To. Happen. No more excuses.

Work on my anxiety. Admitting that my anxiety is a problem that I need to actively deal with was really hard for me to do, and even harder will be the process of actually going through with it. But I will do it.

Live in the moment. Lately it’s come to my attention that I think way too far ahead of myself for my own good. The biggest example has been my brain being all atwitter with the what-ifs surrounding this thing between E and I when, really, I should just be enjoying myself. (You’ll be happy to know I already put this resolution to work and for the love of all things holy, it was amazing to not be fretting about anything other than the moment when I was in it.)

Stay in touch. Sometimes my life and thoughts suck me into a time warp and weeks go by before I realize, wow, I haven’t seen or even been in touch with my closest friends. I know their lives are like that too, but considering I actually have the time, I’m going to make the effort to reach out and keep up with their lives.

Be me and stop worrying what other people think. Plain and simple.

I'm looking forward to all of the opportunities and challenges that lie ahead of me, because it will only mean good things for my life. Bring it on, 2011.

happy new year!

{via}

Dear friends,

Just popping in to wish you the happiest of things for this new year, 2011. Here's hoping you had a wonderful New Year's Eve and that you're ready to face the fresh year with a fresh outlook on life, like I am.

If my New Year's Eve is any indicator (details coming on Monday), then my 2011 should be just as amazing as I predict.

Love always,
Cait