ten on tuesday [vol. 7].

{via}

1. Pretend it’s Monday morning–take us through a day in the life of you.
I'm going to pretend it's a good Monday morning and not one where I'm completely off of a healthy schedule. I get up around 10, do a little yoga, make my bed, then head downstairs for breakfast. I almost always have scrambled eggs with a dash of hot sauce and lots of shredded cheese along with either rye toast or an English muffin. Then I come back upstairs, check e-mail, and get dressed.

For the sake of making it interesting, let's pretend I have work. I leave around 12:15, get to work at 1 and stay for three or four hours. Then I come home, sometimes stopping at Starbucks on the way, sometimes going out to run errands at Target or the mall. Once I'm home I eat dinner, catch up on blogs, and watch TV with my mom (and sometimes my brother).

I usually stay up to catch Craig Ferguson, then I shower and am in bed by 1 or 2am. Before I go to sleep, I read a little bit of the Bible, then either read a book or play my Nintendo DS.

2. What’s your favorite reality TV show?
So You Think You Can Dance.

3. What motto do you live by?
The quote that goes something like: "Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day." Sometimes I can get pretty down about my life in general, but I rarely have a day when I feel like everything went terribly. I can't understand people who can let one event "ruin" a day - at the end of the day, I can almost always pick out at least a few things that made me smile.

4. If you knew could you try anything and not fail, what dream would you attempt?
Opening a dance studio. Auditioning for dance-related things (like a dance team for a sports team, back-up dancer in a music video, a Broadway show... the list goes on and on).

5. What was your first job?
Babysitting. I took care of a few kids on my block when their parents needed a date night, was a "buddy" for a friend of mine who's a few years younger than me and has diabetes, and took care of my younger cousins over the summer. My first "real" job was working at a teeny tiny branch of a publishing company.

6. What is your current job?
I'm actually still working at that same publishing company. Since it's not a big business and the work I do isn't consistent, I was able to work part-time through high school and college.

7. What would you call yourself if you could choose your own name (and you cannot pick the one you already have)?
When I was little, I wanted my name to be Stephanie. That was my preschool BFF's name and I loved it. Whenever I played house with anyone, I would declare that to be my pretend name. I still really like it, so that's what I would pick.

8. What musical instruments can you play?
Piano and flute. Well, at least I think I can still play flute. I only played for two years - in fourth and fifth grade - and I was really good at it, but I have no idea where my flute is now.

9. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive, because forgiveness gives you some semblance of closure. Even if I tried hard, I probably wouldn't be able to just forget if someone wronged me. I've done it when I had to, but forgiveness is a beautiful (albeit sometimes incredibly difficult) thing, and I try to practice it whenever possible.

10. What is one food you’d never want to taste again?
Swiss cheese. And mustard, if condiments count. Just... gross.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by Roots and Rings.

fashion friday: month four of six months, six dresses.

My dress for August was one I purchased under the assumption that I would be attending a wedding this month. When the “save the date” was sent, it was addressed to our whole family; naturally, we figured we’d all be invited, shocking as that was (considering it was my second cousin getting married). Turns out that only the adults were invited, likely because they’re cousins and were close, whereas the “kids” are mostly unacquainted with each other.

Regardless, the day of the wedding came and after my parents left, I decided to dress up anyway and still use it as my August dress.

It’s from the selection of prom dresses that Forever 21 came out with this year, though it’s definitely not prom style, in my opinion. I like it because it’s dressy without being overbearing… also, because it’s pink and has sequins. I figured it would be the perfect dress for a wedding, but could also work for any banquet or even a fancy night out with friends.

The only frustrating thing about buying this dress is that after I spent $40 on it, a couple of months later it went on clearance for under $20. I was so peeved, you have no idea.

Still, I love it and am looking forward to having an occasion to wear it.

{This post is part of a series called Six Months, Six Dresses dreamed up by the ever-lovely and inspiring Kyla Roma. I'm actually straying a bit from her idea by including dresses I already own and starting in May instead of April. If you wanna get in on the fun, click the banner above and join us!}

typical saturday night.

I'm in a serious relationship with my DS lite.

I is smart.

In case you can't tell, that's me winning first place in Mario Kart (yes, against computers, shut up it's really hard sometimes). Deal with it.

august activities.

I realize that I don’t talk nearly enough about what I do on a day-to-day basis. Of course, the main reason for that is because for a while, I was sleeping on a day-to-day basis and not doing anything of interest. Still, my blog posts are usually either themed (between Fashion Fridays and Ten on Tuesdays) or are about big bad topics that are brewing in my head, which I feel gets a little impersonal. So here’s a look at what I’ve been up to.

Cat-Sitting

I’ve been taking care of Lyndsay’s family cat while her and her family are on vacation in Florida (which included a trip to Harry Potter World, jealousies). This job has been mine for a few years now – they usually take a family vacation at the end of the summer – and I absolutely love it. It’s a ten-minute drive, I have the house to myself, and I get to see this adorable face when I get there:

Meet Houdini, or Dini for short. He’s usually pretty skittish, but I somehow won his heart over. He’s always waiting for me when I walk in the door because I come in through the garage, so he knows someone’s home long before the door actually opens. He clings to me – one time even lunging at my legs because I walked away too fast – and doesn’t let up until I put out his food. Because food > human contact, apparently.

Let the Music Play

When I sat down to write this, I had about a billion music-related things I wanted to talk about. First and foremost, I saw Step Up 3D last week and before you say anything, yes, it was an awful, terribly-scripted movie. Also, I question the choice to make it 3D. The dancing, however, was phenomenal. And the music is awesome. I’ve had a handful of the songs from the soundtrack on repeat for two weeks now and I’m still not tired of them. There have been lots and lots of random dance parties going on over here (especially to this song).

The big, exciting thing is that there’s a free concert being held at a park that’s within walking distance of my house, and they recently revealed that the big-ticket bands performing will be Train and OK Go. I nearly peed my pants because, I mean, what?! Those groups? Performing? For FREE? BY MY HOUSE?! It’s pretty amazing. Any and all of my local friends are welcome to join me because I will definitely be there.

And finally, this song? Makes me swoon. Any boy who wants to win me over need only reference this song in any fashion, and I’m yours. (What? I'm easy. TWSS.)



Wedding

On Sunday, my parents and aunt attended my second cousin's wedding. At first we assumed the kids were invited and I was pretty disappointed to find out that just the adults were going. But, I didn’t let that stop me from obsessing over every detail.

The best part, though, wasn’t in the details but a certain moment during the reception. My great uncle – the groom’s grandfather – was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. He’s since lost a little bit of his sharpness and a lot of weight, and my parents said he was kind of out of it for the ceremony.

When the reception rolled around, after all the ceremonial dances had been danced, the family noticed that he was still standing, tapping his cane to the music. He eventually made his way to the corner of the dance floor and spent a good five or ten minutes grooving to the music. It even prompted my aunt, who can bust a move but hasn’t danced at any family gathering in a long time, to join him. Even though he’s not close family to me, it was such a beautiful moment and it brought tears to my eyes.

{with his grandson, the groom, to the left}


{with my aunt}


♥

ten on tuesday [vol. 6].

1. Where did you go to college?
I don't generally like to say here, though if you're friends with me on Facebook, then you know. Let's just say I went to A College in New Jersey.

2. What did you study?
Accounting.

3. Was college really all that it was cracked up to be?
In terms of experiences, absolutely yes. I have such treasured memories with my roommates, classmates and fellow RHA members that I feel are unparalleled by anything else.

As for the importance of taking accounting classes and pushing forward towards the degree... I hated it. It sucks because I know I hated it only because I wasn't interested in accounting that much to begin with - I know plenty of people who loved all the courses in their major because it's what they wanted to do. But I really feel like it's a necessary evil if you're not absolutely passionate about something.

4. How far were you from home?
An hour. I went home a lot. Looking back, it's one of my bigger regrets because I missed out on a lot by coming home on weekends.

5. Did you have the same roommate all four years?
Not all four. Here's the scoop. In freshman year I had a roommate who I didn't click with - I could've adjusted to living with her, but one of my newly-made friends, Katie, was also having bigger issues with her roommate, so we swapped. I lived with her the whole year.

In sophomore year, I roomed with my friend Melissa, who I'd met through Katie. In junior year, I lived in a townhouse where four people lived on a floor. It was me, Melissa again, and our two friends Natalie and Danielle. It was hands-down the best year of college and possibly my life thus far.

In senior year I lived in a townhouse again, with Katie and two of her friends. It wasn't ideal because the two girls I didn't know were very close and did a lot together, while Katie and I were kinda loners that year. It definitely didn't have the same feel as junior year, but it worked.

6. Where did you order food from at 2am?
I didn't ever order at 2am, though there were many runs to the convenience store on campus right before it closed at 2. Plenty of people ordered Cluck-U Chicken at 2am, though, and you could get cheap pizza from Hassan (who delivered for a pizza place, but then drove around with extra pies to sell, per slice, to drunk people coming home from parties).

7. Did you date in college or were you tied down?
For the most part, I was single through college and didn't really date. Or hook-up. Or have any relations with guys other than friendship. I met Mark at the end of junior year and we were in a relationship throughout senior year.

8. Funniest drunk college moment?
I don't even have one! I never got drunk, I was the uber good girl in that regard. I did get drunk at college after graduating, when I visited my cousin (who was a freshman the year after I graduated), but even that was lame.

9. Did you make it to class on time?
Bahahahaha. Um, I mean. Yes, when I actually got up to go. This was where I was a rebel - I skipped class all the time. It was a problem.

10. What was your favorite class in college?
There were very few - if any - classes I remember absolutely loving. If I had to pick some of the better classes, I'd say my Buddhism class that I took in my final semester and Music and the Stage, which I took during the fall semester of sophomore year. Otherwise, most of my classes were accounting- or business-based, or they were fulfilling general requirements, which meant they were not that interesting. I will say, though, that I enjoyed a bunch of my classes not for the subject matter, but the way the professor taught, the camaraderie of the class, and/or the time I got to spend with my friends.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by Roots and Rings.

random friday cuteness.

For your Friday enjoyment, I give you an adorable little bellyflopping corgi.

(Try not to let the cuteness melt you into a puddle.)

(Also, somebody get me a corgi, STAT.)



AND THEN THIS HAPPENED.


Too. Much. Cute. In need of a kitten and a corgi and other adorable animals immediately.

doctor mark b.

It’s been two years in the making, filled with so many downs sprinkled with just a couple of ups.

I listened to practiced presentations, fixed typos in PowerPoint, and proofread papers. I showed up with sandwiches from the dining hall and made pasta and chicken dinners when he was too busy to eat. I sat on his bed, doing my own work and eating from a tub of animal crackers, gently pushing him to get back to work when he got frustrated. I drove to his house several times in one week, prepping him for the second round of MCATs.

I dried tears and spilled plenty of my own. Luckily most of my senior year was easy enough that I could spare my time when he needed me. There were countless breakdowns, mood swings and arguments, most of which I blindly submitted to without complaint. Occasionally I found myself overstressed and immersed in my own breakdown as a result, but nothing I couldn’t survive.

Many people ask, or at least wonder, why? Why would I sacrifice so much – sometimes at a heavy price – for someone else’s dream? Part of it was probably because I didn’t have a dream of my own that I could dedicate myself to, part of it was because I was in love. But most of it was because I knew that if I didn’t help, his dream, and subsequently his life, could fall apart in front of him.

He became a pessimist and at every challenge, he found it that much harder to go forward. Whenever he wanted to give up, I refused to let him. I calmly explained, I bargained, I comforted, I played the optimist, and at times, I just full-out yelled at him. I kept pushing because I knew that if it was truly what he wanted, he could achieve it. And after two years of poor MCAT scores, late applications, too few interviews, six-hour trips to far away schools, and a couple of acceptances to mediocre schools, he finally got taken off the wait list and accepted at his school of choice.

Last Friday, August 6th, it all became real. I sat in the fourth row, next to his family and behind a handful of fourth-year medical students in the indoor courtyard of the university hospital. It was one of the first times I was at a celebratory ceremony for one of my peers – I had been on the other side at my own graduations and in the audience for younger cousins and friends – and it felt strange. It felt even stranger that, when they addressed the family and friends in the audience, they were talking to me.

It took pretty much all I had not to start bawling at every turn – as the speakers talked about supportive family and friends; as they addressed the incoming class as “future doctors”; as Mark took the stage and donned his white coat. I have a habit of finding the strangest moment to become emotional and it happened again as my tears held out until the end, when the class recited the Hippocratic Oath. It wasn't a particularly poignant moment, but it was at that point it all clicked, that this was truly happening and Mark would eventually be walking around a hospital, taking care of people.

It’s been difficult and challenging to push him through this uphill battle, but it’s been completely worth it. Although our relationship is over, we're still really close like any best friends would be. And, honestly? I’ve never been happier for or prouder of any person, ever, than I was in that moment (and still kind of am).

ten on tuesday [vol. 5].

{via}

1. Do you have an innie or an outie?
Innie. No offense if you have an outie, but they weird me out. I'm glad I have an innie.

2. What kind of milkshake do you order?
I actually don't drink milkshakes that often because too much dairy makes me feel sick. Usually vanilla does the trick, though strawberry's good too. I'm a fan of simplicity.

3. How often do you repeat outfits at work?
Since my current job allows me complete freedom with my wardrobe, I'll talk about my internship from two summers ago. I repeated stuff all the time simply because I didn't have that many dressy casual tops. Also, I wore the same pair of black pants every day, unless I was wearing my brown-and-green top, in which case I wore my brown pants. Needless to say, I will probably need a nice new wardrobe once I find a job.

4. What are your feelings about thank you notes?
Love, love, love them! My mom trained me from an early age to send them and they were always a pain in the butt in the past, but now I think they're a wonderful idea. I try to send them whenever possible.

5. Do you like spicy food?
Absolutely not. I must have a really sensitive palate because sometimes, I'll comment on something being spicy, and the rest of my family completely disagrees. My brother and dad love spicy food (and each have their own favorite brand of hot sauce in the house), so I have to be careful whenever I eat something they make.

6. How many toilet paper squares do you use?
LOL, this is such a TMI question. I actually have no idea... I've never paid attention. I can't even make a guess because I'm a terrible estimator, and I don't want to give an absurdly large or small number.

7. Were you in Girl Scouts?
Yep! Ready? *holds up three fingers* On my honor, I will try to serve God and my country, to help people at all times, and to live BY THE GIRL! SCOUT! LAW! (We always shouted the end because we were rambunctious little third graders.) I started in first grade (as a Brownie!) and continued up until sixth or seventh grade, when I became a Girl Scout Drop-Out because my friends all quit, too. My mom was one of the troop moms during my elementary school years and for a few years, she was the official Cookie Mom. That meant we handled the orders and got to pick up alllll the cookies for our entire troop. It was fabulous.

8. Notebooks/Journals: College ruled? Wide Ruled? No lines? Spiral Bound? Plain front? Decorative?
Always, always decorative. I don't really care about college versus wide ruled. Whether they're lined or not depends on the purpose, though I tend to like lines because I'm a perfectionist and a rule-follower, and unlined notebooks are sometimes a little too loosey-goosey for me. I only like spiral-bound if it's a good quality because I've had far too many notebooks fall apart because the spiral got messed up at the top or bottom.

9. Do you snack throughout the day? What do you pack for snacks?
I. Eat. Constantly. For whatever reason, I have a hard time eating big, full meals without stopping halfway through because I feel stuffed. But, it is almost guaranteed that I'll be hungry within an hour of eating. I snack all the time, on everything - cookies, chips, crackers, small salads, veggies, fruits, granola bars... basically anything I can find.

10. What is your favorite month? Why?
I am so bad with this question. If I narrow it down to my top three, I would say May, July, and September. May, because it's the best part of spring when the weather is actually getting warmer and summer is on the horizon. July, because it's smack-dab in the middle of summer and it just feels the most free. September, because it's the beginning of fall and the weather is getting cooler again, but not bone-chilling cold yet. I can't really pick a favorite; they're all my favorite in different ways.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by Roots and Rings.

happiness and confidence are independent of looks.

{This post is in honor of both the release of Caitlin's new book, Operation Beautiful: Transforming the Way You See Yourself One Post-it Note at a Time as well as Change The Way You See, Not The Way You Look Week. Click the image for more posts!}

I have been blessed my entire life with a mostly unwavering confidence in how I look. A better way to put it is that I’ve always been comfortable with my body.

I’ve had my moments – like when I was the only thirteen-year-old who didn’t fill out her dance costume at all – but I can’t recall a single moment when I looked in the mirror and full-on hated something about myself. There could’ve been plenty of opportunity for it. I have a very large, full-length mirror in the front of my room where I could easily have spent hours nitpicking my flaws and wondering why certain parts couldn’t be bigger, smaller, smoother, or just prettier.

It certainly helps that I was a gangly little girl who grew up with a dancer’s body – I won’t deny that it probably played a part in fending off negative thoughts. Still, there were things I didn’t care for: my ghost-white complexion, lifeless and plain brown hair, and left eyebrow that doesn’t grow in properly. But I never obsessed over these things; I paid little to no attention to them on a daily basis, even with the huge mirror in my face every morning.

Society places so much importance on looking good and meeting some crazy and unrealistic standards. Not once have I ever looked in a magazine and believed I needed to look like someone in it. I thought it might be nice to have blonde hair or bigger boobs, but I never hated myself for not looking that way. It saddens me so much to know that there are hundreds of girls out there do that and how damaging it is to their self-image.

When I see all of the negative body image issues that people have, my heart breaks. Every time I come across someone who is criticizing themselves, I want to scoop them up into a big hug and tell them that they’re wrong, that they’re beautiful in every way no matter what. It’s a tough battle to want to fight because we're all our own worst critic. Each of our inner voices are fierce and won’t back down even if you get twenty comments about how beautiful you are.

It's even harder sometimes because I worry that people think, well, it's easy for me to say "love yourself" because they don't believe I have any major flaws. But in all honesty, that has nothing to do with it. I’m not confident and happy because of how I look. My confidence and happiness are independent of my looks.

That is what is so wonderful about the message behind Operation Beautiful. It’s a way to help people understand that their beauty truly lies within and that trying to “fix” your body is never going to bring happiness. Instead we have to fix the way we see ourselves and realize that we are all truly beautiful.

If I could bottle up my self-assuredness and pass it along to every girl out there who struggles with how they look, I would do it in an instant because I know how rare it can be. Since that’s impossible, though, the next step is to spread the love whenever I can.

So, please. Remember that YOU are beautiful. Yes, every single one of you (even if your inner voice is calling me a liar). Take some time today to remember that and spread the word to everyone you know this week that it’s all about how we see, not how we look.

ten on tuesday [vol. 4].

1. What is your current favorite television show?
So You Think You Can Dance? Seriously, best show ever for a dance addict like me.

2. Apple juice or orange juice?
Orange. I grew up drinking apple juice so I got tired of it. Strangely, though, I hated orange juice until I hit high school.

3. It’s Shark Week on Discovery Channel. Do you watch? Why or why not?
No, because I'm easily freaked out. I'm sure parts of it are cool but I've never really cared enough to tune in.

4. What are the non-blog websites that you visit regularly?
Facebook, Forever 21, and IDF (a forum to talk about So You Think You Can Dance, because I'm a dance geek like that).

5. What is your favorite way to prepare green beans? Asparagus? Potatoes? Carrots?
For green beans and asparagus, steaming or boiling them and then topping them with butter is perfection. I pretty much love potatoes served in any form, but my favorite is probably mashed. As for carrots, I can't eat them fresh (which I used to love), but they're great in chicken soup.

6. What is your favorite flower?
Gerbera daisies or lilies. It's kind of a tie.

7. How do you feel about handkerchiefs?
Gross. My dad and grandpa always carry one and I guess it's useful at times, but mostly it just squicks me out.

8. If you could only shop at 3 stores for the rest of your life, what would they be? (You probably should include a grocery store.)
Target, Whole Foods, and Michael's.

9. If you could only use wine for one purpose for the rest of your life, which would you choose? To cook with or to drink?
To drink. I could easily cook without wine and would probably enjoy drinking it from a glass instead.

10. What’s your bedtime?
It varies so much that it's pretty disgusting. But, when I'm actually sleeping on a regular schedule, it's usually midnight or 1am.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by Roots and Rings.