2009 in review.

I wish I could tell you that I had a wonderful year packed with fun and excitement, but that's simply untrue. This year, 2009, was probably the crappiest year I've had in a long time. I'm not one to go around slapping an adjective on an entire year - especially a negative one - but when I sit here and try to look back on it, everything blurs together.

This year I suffered immensely from digestive problems that started in January and have not let up since. It's caused me anxiety and overall has made my life pretty suckish. On top of that, my last semester at college was not the way it should have been. Half of my friends graduated early and my friends in my major were in none of my classes, so I basically isolated myself and only spent time with The Boy. And on top of all that, I was dealing with a rift in the friendship between me and my younger cousin.

February was nice because it was the first Valentine's Day I got to have with a boyfriend. In March, for SPRING BREAK of my SENIOR YEAR ... I got my wisdom teeth out. And aside from the dry heaving from taking Vicodin on an empty stomach, it really wasn't that bad. I also joined Twitter that week (@princesscait), probably because I was stuck in bed with nothing else to do. I spent most of April studying hard, writing papers, and taking finals. In May, I finally graduated (one of the only really exciting things to happen this year) and had an amazing party.

June, July, and August pretty much blend together as one of the must uneventful summers ever. My cousin went to her prom and had a graduation party, but I found myself still knee-deep in drama with her. I distracted myself by cleaning out my entire room and getting a new desk. I mourned the death of Michael Jackson, because the dancer in me can't NOT move to his music and be in awe of his dancing skills. And in spite of it all, I poured my heart out to my cousin about how much we'd grown apart, helped her get ready for college, and saw her off the night before she moved in.

The fall started out with a bang - in September I attended the annual block party at my aunt's shorehouse on Labor Day Weekend. But the fall, much like my summer, was ultimately uneventful. The highlight of October was dressing up and handing out candy, something I never did when I was younger because I was out trick-or-treating myself. I got a little crafty in November, making a banner for my cousin's dorm and some clips for Thanksgiving place cards. I also visited my cousin at college and got legitimately drunk for the first time. And I wasn't even hungover! For Thanksgiving, we spent our time playing Wii tennis and cursing at the game. Finally, in December, I splurged a little too much on gifts for myself while shopping for others and took part in the 24 Days of Christmas photo challenge. Here are some of my favorites.

Day 4 - Gold wire tree.


Day 12 - Christmas tree lights.


Day 19 - Outside lights in the snow.


Day 21 - Snowflake ornament and Christmas tree bokeh.


Day 23 - Jingle bells.

So that was my 2009. When I entered college and they told us we were the class of 2009, it seemed so far away. Now it's come and gone. Here's hoping that 2010 will be a much better year, that I'll get my life back on track and finally be completely happy again. Because being unhappy for the better part of an entire year really, really sucks.

my thoughts on the award backlash.

There seems to be a lot of hubbub (ooh, fun word!) regarding the Bootlegger Award nominees over at 20sb. I was actually thinking a lot about my own place in the blogging community recently, and the two thoughts (strangely) kind of go together.

Complaints are coming in from those who feel like the nominees are not diverse enough, that it's the same group of people up for all of them. Although I can understand the frustration to a point, the nominations were submitted by the 20sb members. Obviously no system is perfect, but there should really be no reason to complain. The nominees were picked because their blogs are fantastic and they are active in the community. I read somewhere earlier, on Twitter, that only about 100 people nominated others. There are definitely not 100 people in this accused "clique" that I keep hearing about. No way. So it's foolish to go around saying that they were all nominated by each other and that's the only way they're getting recognition. These are the people who are good at blogging and the ones that are active in the community, active enough to take the time and nominate other bloggers.

I'm tired of people throwing around the terms "popularity contest" and "clique." These terms have become derogatory in certain ways that hurt the people at whom they're directed. If you want to get to know these seemingly unreachable people, then you need to take the effort to do so. They're not monsters; they won't bite. Simply creating a blog, joining 20sb, and adding people on Twitter isn't going to make you best friends with everyone instantly. Yes, the majority of people will be welcoming, but it's not all up to the established members of the group to get to know new people without the new people trying at all. It takes two people to develop a friendship.

This is where I've recently been pondering my own participation in the blogosphere. I've been blogging publicly for two years, and am usually shocked when I hear that some of my favorite, more established bloggers have been around as long as I have or only a few months more. I think, well wow, shouldn't I have tons of followers and a bunch of online besties? But then I realize the reasons why I don't.

I tend to not be as active as I think I am in the blogging community. While I make the effort to post, I rarely comment or reply to anything on Twitter (mostly because I'm paranoid and try too hard to think of the perfect thing to say, and if I can't, I just avoid commenting or replying. BUT THAT'S A WHOLE SEPARATE STORY. Seriously). What I've noticed is by posting my own updates to both my blog and Twitter, and by reading (but not responding to) others' blogs and tweets, I trick myself into thinking I'm active. Blogging and tweeting are so personal, so just by reading them every day I feel as though I know the people who are posting. And in my mind, if I know them, then obviously they must know me, right? Wrong.

That's something I'm hoping to work on this upcoming year. It's my blogging resolution, something I never thought I'd make a resolution about. And I feel this is where many newcomers to online communities, like 20sb, get a little lost. They feel that by reading and following people, they're getting to know them so well, and that those people must also be getting to know them. Then when they realize that there are existing friendships outside of the blogging and tweeting realm, it hurts because it's sometimes difficult to remember that there's more to it that just blogs and tweets. And when people get hurt, some people get defensive or angry, and in turn decide to say things to hurt other people as well. And then there's drama and disagreement and confrontation and ohmygoshIamsonotokaywithallthisdrama. Ahem.

Like I said in response to Rachel's post, it's less of a situation of a popular crowd and more of a new-kid-at-school thing, if we want to keep using high school social structures as an example (which I hate). When you're new to a school, you can't necessarily make close friends instantly because people don't know you yet. It's the same with an online community - you can't expect instant friendship from people who have yet to get to know you.

So basically, it's about taking your time and putting yourself out there. E-mail one of your favorite bloggers about a post you liked, or that you related to on a really close level. Respond to that tweet about a movie or television show that you absolutely love. Promote your blog in a non-spammy way and try to find more people who'll relate to you and read your blog because of it. I've done some of this, and although I've been blogging publicly for two years, even I've still got a ways to go.

I just hate seeing drama. We have enough real-life shit to deal with, so why create all this angst over some silly online awards? Seriously people, go take all that energy you're putting into getting mad or jealous at someone and make it positive and send it to Brandy.

christmas recap, a few days late.

This past weekend served as a Christmas Recuperation and I couldn't be happier to have spent it all in bed. I managed to get twelve hours of sleep per night, eat pirogi and leftover cheesecake, beat Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box (in fifteen hours!), and snuggle with my new teddy bear. It's been a really good weekend.

I was so unbelievably relieved to be done with the holidays. Since I planned activities for every day last week, I spent every one of those days dealing with my anxiety and stomach problems. I also ate pretty poorly because my anxiety makes me lose my appetite. All of this culminated in a rough couple of days this weekend as my poor stomach recovered from all the medicine and fatty food I put in it all week.

Despite all this, I'm still going through my typical Christmas-is-over mini depression. Everything pretty much goes into warp speed during the last week before Christmas, and it didn't help that this year I wanted to push through each day to stop the anxiety. I would tell myself every day that I just needed to make it to tomorrow. With that mindset, weeks could fly by in a matter of minutes.

As I mentioned last week, Christmas Eve was pretty much uneventful, as it usually is. We celebrate with my mom's side of the family, which is comprised of a total of nine people (well, technically it's thirteen, but my uncle and his family rarely attend). Usually the day is spent sitting around and talking, with the main activity being the clean-up after dinner and the serving of dessert from Judicke's Bakery.

Christmas Day is the more exciting counterpart to Christmas Eve. My dad's side of the family is a little more exciting, dramatic, and all-around more fun. Plus, we still exchange gifts on this side of the family which is always a good time. After everyone arrived and got settled, we started handing out gifts to the "kids" (in quotes because, well, the youngest is fifteen and the oldest is twenty-four).

We girls are always put in charge of, well, everything.

We're good at being Santa's helpers.

Matching Victoria's Secret PINK shirts, from my aunt!

The "kids," for your own personal reference.

My cousin and I went out earlier last week to buy dresses from Forever 21 and we both unknowingly wore little black jackets over them. We rocked those dresses like no other two people could.

It's funny that we both wore sweaters. She's covering up her cleavage while I'm covering up the fact that I don't have enough cleavage to keep my dress up. Still, I LOVE our dresses.

When Christmas Day is held at my aunt's house, her husband's family also attends. Add to that my aunt's friend and her family and you get a total of eighteen people. It was pretty insane fitting everyone into the dining and living room. Even though the seating was chosen completely randomly, we all joked about where we sat. I was at what one would deem the kiddie table, since it was the three-person square card table. My cousins at the main dining room table told me they'd put in a good word so that maybe next year, I could move my way up the ranks.

Trying to get a view of all three tables.

After dinner, the activity of choice was Rock Band, which we thoroughly enjoyed. Even Aunt Sandy let her inner drummer loose.

From front to back: Brian (family friend), Dan (brother), and John (cousin). And in the background there is Lynds and Aunt Kimmy.

That's Aunt Sandy in the middle. This is topped only by the year we got my other aunt to play DDR.

Overall I had a wonderful two days and received a bunch of lovely gifts (which I'll probably blog about in the next day or two). The idea that it's all over already makes me unhappy, but I'll soon be distracting myself with picking and outfit for New Year's Eve and making all the plans for my birthday. Yay, distractions!

a special post.

[Okay folks. As I was preparing a little summary of my Christmas celebration, something more important crossed my path and I felt it was important enough to forgo my post and share it. Since most of my readership is from 20sb, you probably know a lovely lady named Brandy. Well, she needs some good thoughts sent her way, or more specifically, in the direction of a special guy in her life. I'm a firm believer in the power of good thoughts and prayer, so I'm asking all of you to read this and take some time from your day to send good vibes and, if it's your thing, to pray. When I read this post, it made my knees buckle (figuratively, of course), and even though I don't know Brandy well, I still feel compelled to share her plea. This blogosphere, specifically within the realm of 20sb, is made up of very special people who are supportive and can come together for many different reasons. Let's make this one of those reasons.]

My name is brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He’s a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He’s the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He’s the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He’s a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He’s made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He’s listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He’s recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He’s the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I’m overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren’t sure what’s happening. He’ll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what’s going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as ‘brandy’s hot awesome dude’). If you don’t pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven’t seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I’m throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn’t a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It’s just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven’t already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

merry christmas!

Christmas is my favorite holiday and time of year in general. I had a blast today celebrating with my mom's side of the family - my grandparents and my aunt and her two kids - at my house. We ate food, got a twenty-minute visit from our weirdo uncle, and swiftly avoided a religion-fueled dispute when my brother announced he was reading "The God Delusion."

All night I heard fire truck sirens and I spent way too much time at the window and front door, trying to figure out how close to the house they were. Watching Santa go by on a fire truck is a teeny tiny family tradition, so I didn't want to miss him! He went by around 8pm and we were there to wave and watch him go by.

I received a lot of wonderful gifts, many of which I picked out and even wrapped myself because my mom was busy. My favorites from my parents are the two Glee soundtracks, my Lady GaGa album, and the game Apples to Apples. From The Boy I got a beautiful bracelet (which I neglected to take a picture of yet) and an adorable teddy bear. And Natalie also got me a really awesome bracelet that says "Believe In Yourself," which is definitely something I need to remind myself of more often.

Pretty good considering we're only officially a half hour into Christmas, isn't it? We'll be at my aunt's house for most of today, where more gift exchanges will happen. I'm most excited for these because I get gifts from my aunt and my two girl cousins, and I have no idea what I'm getting. As much as I like picking out my owns gifts to get from my parents, surprises are so much more fun. I also think I did a really awesome job selecting gifts for everyone else this year.

And now, here are my last three photos for the 24 Days of Christmas project. It's been so much fun, but there were definitely days I struggled. I would happily do this again next year.

Our nativity scene. I am incredibly picky when it comes to setting up the figurines.

Jingle bells! I love these. They sound just like Santa's sleigh.

Advent calendar mouse, telling us that it's Christmas Eve.

Merry Christmas!

drowning in christmas spirit.

I've been filling this week to the gills with Christmas spirit. As I've mentioned, I tend to overload early in the season, so after a week of taking a break, I'm back in the full swing of things.

Monday I hit the mall with Lynds to buy last minute gifts and cute Christmas dresses from Forever 21 (can't wait to show you!). Yesterday I was extra sniffly and was glad that my plans included snuggling under blankets and watching Christmas movies. Natalie came over and we caught up on each others' lives before settling in to watch Elf (which I've never seen, and now LOVE) and The Santa Clause. They were perfect get-in-the-spirit Christmas movies.

Today is dedicated to cleaning the house top to bottom and baking desserts for Christmas Day with Lynds. Then it's early to bed so that I (hopefully!) feel tons better for the festivities. We celebrate both Christmas Eve and Day around here, so I've got two days packed full of family, food, and of course, presents! (Which I'm excited for moreso because I can't wait to GIVE my gifts, not because I want to get gifts. Seriously, I did good this year.)

And because my hands have been busy wrapping gifts and gripping warm cups of tea, I've been slow on the 24 Days of Christmas pictures. But! I have been finding time to take photos, so here they are, all at once. Just a few days left!

terrible timing.

Well, despite never leaving this house and sleeping more often than not, it seems I have still gotten sick. I've been sniffly the past week or so, but nothing major. Methinks it was a terrible idea to go out and shovel snow twice last night, neither time being particularly dressed for the occasion. And it's annoying because I always get sick the same way: first I'm sniffly, then my throat gets itchy-scratchy so that it takes for-EV-er to fall asleep, which causes me to sleep poorly and get even sicker. Blah.

It doesn't really help that it's the week of Christmas, either. I (still!) have last-minute shopping to do, plans with friends this week, and my mom definitely needs my help cleaning the house and preparing for Christmas Eve. I've got something to do pretty much every day. Granted, most of these activities aren't happening until the evening hours, so at least there's no waking up early for anything.

And despite the fact that the late-night snow shoveling was what (I think) pushed my sickness over the edge, the snow was so pretty. It made me feel snowed in (even though I wasn't going anywhere at 11pm anyway), so I snuggled up with some hot chocolate last night, put on the Peaceful Christmas station on Pandora, and wrapped as many of my presents as I could (I'm still waiting for some in the mail!). It definitely put me in the Christimas spirit for the week.

So, for those of you who didn't get snow, here are some pictures so that you can live vicariously through me, without having to shovel snow or drive on ice!

Snow covering the lights on the bushes! I loved how it looked. I took more, but the best one is going to be a 24 Days of Christmas photo.

My neighbors' houses. If you notice on the far right, that house has those inflatable decorations out on the lawn. The big snowglobe (not shown) definitely got crushed by the snow.

exhausted.

Sometimes my life makes me just want to scream at the top of my lungs at everyone. I thought I would be lucky enough never to be in a situation that nobody around me understood, but I am. I've explained it what seems like thousands of times that, although I am working on it, I'm still sick and I still have anxiety about going out. Usually the person I'm talking to acts like they understand; they acknowledge it and tell me to feel better. I even try to convince myself that they get it. It's not until I get a text message or e-mail inviting me out for dinner or shopping or whatever it may be that I realize... nobody understands.

Nobody understands that I can't just hop in my car and go somewhere I'm not comfortable with - my anxiety has made it so that even going places I'm comfortable with is a challenge. Nobody understands that the places I do go - my boyfriend's house, to see my aunt or cousin - are situations in which I can just barely pull myself together to go out. And because nobody understands, I worry that everyone dismisses it. I will admit that I have a tendency to be a bit paranoid about what people think about me, but sometimes I feel that I'm actually hitting the nail on the head about things nobody wants to say. I'm just scared of what everybody is thinking about my situation and the decisions I make.

It's difficult to decide what I'm supposed to do. If I don't at least try to make plans, my friendships are going to fade away. I feel too greedy always asking to meet at my house, since my friends live far. So, I make plans to go out. And then I break them. Somewhere in my mind, broken plans are better than not having any to begin with. At the same time, every time I do break plans, it makes me depressed. I usually spend hours feeling terrible about myself, angry that I couldn't just suck it up and go somewhere. I worry about my reputation for being a flake, for becoming that person who doesn't answer texts and ditches her friends. Sure, they know I'm sick, but I can't help wonder what they think when I say that, yet again, I can't make it. Just the fact that the meet-ups are planned anywhere but my house show me that they don't truly understand what it is I'm going through.

All of this frustrates me to a point I can't even communicate properly. I'm coming up on being sick for a year now and I don't even know which direction to go in first to fix it. Do I work on my anxiety? Do I go on strict diets and hope it helps my stomach? Or do I try to tackle both? These questions, this entire dilemma, weighs on my mind day in and day out, because it's unavoidable. It has infiltrated every aspect of my life. The only days that are okay are ones when I don't leave this house, and that's no way to live.

I have spent the past couple of months now feeling this way and it's getting tiresome. The holidays have been a distraction, but that's all they've been, seeing as it's all rushing back in now. I've spent countless nights crying myself to sleep, pleading with God that I get better, composing apologetic and explanatory letters to friends in my mind that I never send. During the day I try to trick myself into feeling surrounded by my friends. I e-mail and tweet them, post Facebook wall messages and speak noncommittally about getting together "sometime soon." Even by doing my Christmas shopping, by thinking about and picking out gifts for each of them, I've pretended they're closer than they really are.

I know I have amazing friends. They have made it clear that they are here for me. But I've trapped myself into the thought process that they're too busy and my problems are just too big, and thrown in a little bit of "I don't like to bother people so I don't ask for help." I've let my paranoid imagination convince me, at times, that nobody really cares because nobody's here to help me. The truth is, I have never felt more alone in my entire life.

And I have no idea what I'm supposed to do to make any of this better.

christmas rush.

I cannot believe Christmas is so soon.

I'm one of those people who starts planning really early and jumps into the season with both feet. The Christmas music comes out and is played everywhere I go, I wave goodbye to my bank account and start buying gifts for everyone, and I drink a lot of hot chocolate. And various Starbucks beverages.

Then, around the second week of December, I kind of hit a stand still. I get sick of the constant holiday songs about sleighs and snow and trees and small children not having money to buy shoes for their dying mothers. Who might meet Jesus. TONIGHT. (In case you were wondering, I always cry.) The problem with this pause is that it usually lasts up until the week before Christmas, when suddenly I realize that I only have half my gifts, don't have any ideas for the remaining gifts, the tree's not decorated, my cards aren't sent out, and ohmygosheverythingneedstoslowdown.

That's where I am now.

Granted, I have a full ten days until Christmas. I've taken steps to make sure the rest of the gifts on my list are either ordered, purchased, or on the list to be purchased very soon. I finally got around to trekking up to Michael's for a green ink pad so that I could get my cards finished. Even though I felt sick and crampy, I hauled my butt out of the house, ran errands, then came home and promptly got to stampin'. I'm very excited with how they turned out - they're nothing super fancy, but I like them. Of course, I don't want to share until I've sent them out so that those who are receiving them can be surprised, but I'll take a few pictures for later. (Also, there's still time to get yours! Although I already made all the ones for this go-round, if I get more requests and I have the time, I'll definitely make more. Click here to give me your info.)

Now, here's the silly part of all this. Even though I'm busy trying to get last-minute shopping in, wrapping presents, and figuring out what to bake for Christmas, I want to plan more. Something about the season makes me want to see people, to go out and grab drinks, dinners, or just hang out and watch holiday movies. I think I always just correlate the holiday season with having a full calendar of fun things to do, so I try to keep myself busy. I can't say it's completely terrible - it's definitely a nice change from wanting to mope about the house.

Plus, I get to start planning for my birthday - the week after New Year's - which is always exciting.

I missed yesterday for my Christmas photo, so here are the photos for yesterday and today.

A view of my candy cane candle that was almost on it's way out. I didn't like how the side shots were coming out, so I decided to take it from the top.

My inked-up stamps, before I washed them all off. I thought they looked very festive.

annnnd i'm back!

Oh, hello there! I seem to have fallen off the face of the earth for the past few days.

In reality, I worked Thursday and Friday of last week, visited my aunt on Saturday, and today I woke up feeling sniffly so I did a lot of bumming around.

I don't have much to say, so instead, I'm bringing you photos for Days 10-13. Enjoy!

Day 10 is the garland strung from the banister in the central part of my house.

Day 11 is my Christmas tree! It's a fake, pre-lit, three-piece tree, but that's totally fine by me. This picture isn't anything special, but the glowing of the lights looked really pretty so I wanted to take a picture of it.

Day 12 is a close up of the lights on the tree. I was toying around with manual mode because when I turned the flash off in automatic mode, the pictures all came out too dark. I like the clarity of this picture because I was having a hard time getting it to focus.

Day 13 is a bouquet of fake poinsettias. At first I was thinking this picture was too dark, but then I noticed the reflection of the Christmas lights and really liked that aspect of it. I had more outtakes that I could've used, but this is the one I picked for today.

why i love/hate sytycd & love glee.

Is it sad that watching two television shows has emotionally drained me?

First up tonight was So You Think You Can Dance? and two extremely talented dancers were completely robbed by some mediocre dancers with a sob story. Seriously. And yes, I know it's not their faults. I would honestly love to find the people who picked up a phone and voted for a girl who didn't even dance last night over a girl who actually danced and did so AMAZINGLY. Don't even get me started on the guys' results, which simply have me in total shock.

However.

Glee came in and saved the day by bringing me a wonderfully dramatic fall finale. Of course, dramatic usually means I'm crying my eyes out, because whether it's something happy or sad, I melt into a puddle. And oh, this episode. I was a sobbing mess by the end.

What can I say? I love television that can really pull me in.

Here's my Day 9 photo, which was taken a few days ago when we started unloading all the family decorations. I used the color isolation feature on my camera (which I adore and don't use nearly as often as I should). Other than that, it's nothing too special.

giving gifts... to myself.

[Don't forget that if you'd like a holiday card from me, you can click here or on the teddy bear image in my sidebar to sign yourself up. C'mon, who doesn't love snail mail?]

I'm very excited because all of the Christmas presents I ordered online around Black Friday are showing up. I wish I could make a list to show you, but quite a few of my friends and family read this blog and I don't want to spoil anything!

On the other hand, I have also acquired quite a few "gifts" for myself. And those I can definitely share with you.

The first couple of things are from Victoria's Secret, because they're amazing at keeping their customers coming back. I ordered a few things here and there in November and with every purchase in that month, they sent me a "secret" gift card with an unnamed value on it. Turns out the two that I snagged were worth $10 and $50. I was quite shocked because I just assumed they'd both be $10. I combined them with a bunch of discount and free shipping codes and, in addition to the pajama sets I bought for my cousins, I got myself two things:

Bling flannel PJ pant

The other item was a new bra, but there's really no need to post a picture of that here, now is there?

There have been plenty of things on Etsy that have caught my eye, but that's nothing new. I am always in the mood to shop there, no matter what time of year it is.

Wish Love Bracelet, $15

This bracelet was an early, early gift to myself, to early to really be considered as Christmas-related. I bought it more as a reminder to love myself - I tend to do so much for other people and beat up on myself. Something about it spoke to me, so I bought it without much hesitation. Since receiving it, I've only removed it to take a shower.

My final stop was at MrsPriss's shop, who has the loveliest flower hair clips ever. Seriously. I had to buy two when they were on sale last month.

White Poppy Hair Pin, $8


Midnight Blue Posy Hair Clip, $8

My 24 Days of Christmas photo is a little out of the ordinary today. When I was toying with pictures of my fiber-optic tree, I spontaneously took a few photos while also moving the camera around. Most of them came out just okay, but this one looked really cool.

deck the halls.

It seems like every couple of days, I come up short when it comes to writing an entry. I really love doing the Christmas photo project, but I feel bad just slapping a photo up there and going on my merry way.

Today I spent the entire day decorating for Christmas. Our pre-lit tree had a string of lights out, so I fixed that first. Then I put up all the knick knacks that go around the house - we have so, so many and it's always fun to try to remember where they go. Finally I put lights on the bushes in our front yard, something my dad stopped doing years ago. It always bummed me out that we didn't have many front yard decorations because more people see those than all the stuff we have going on inside.

I'm completely worn out from doing all this stuff, but at least it's finished. Well.. except for the tree. But that's less tiring and more fun, so I'm looking forward to it.

My picture for Day 7 was an experiment with bokeh. I'd like to think it came out pretty decently, but who knows. I wanted to incorporate my little fiber-optic tree into the project somehow, but close-up pictures weren't working out. Then I realized I could use it as a background, so that's what I did.

black birds are ominous.

Every once in a while, probably once a year or so, a shit-ton of black birds will suddenly invade our neighborhood. It's fascinating, but borderline creepy. I mean, doesn't this look ominous to you?

There are literally hundreds of them. They always stay within a short distance of one another, inhabiting five or six trees and roofs that are close together. A flock of them will sometimes descend on someone's yard, which is the scariest part of all. My guess is they're looking for food, but it's so bizarre because they'll literally be covering the yard.

Of course, they startle very easily. Once one or two are startled, they all fly up off the ground, roof, or tree TOGETHER.



It's so creepy, yet I can't help watching every time it happens.

In 24 Days of Christmas news, I'm still working within the confines of my room. We did, however, pull out the four big boxes of family decorations, so you can expect a little change of pace very soon.

Today's photo is simple: the sole string of Christmas lights in my bedroom.

baby it's cold outside.

I'm all snuggled up in my room, looking at the rain-slash-snow falling outside, and I'm just so excited for winter this year. That's probably because I'm not in college anymore, so I don't need to walk the excruciating ten minutes to class in freezing cold weather. Seriously, it got pretty bad.

Example one was in freshmen year during finals for the fall semester. I'd spent three consecutive days completely within the confines of my dorm building. Since we had a small dining hall in the basement, there was no need to leave, even for meals. But on one of the days, I needed to trek all the way across campus (a ten-minute walk) to tend to something in the business building. It was the absolutely FRIGID.

Then there was junior year. For some reason, the cold was unbearable that winter. I remember walking to classes on several occasions with the wind blowing directly in my face. Being a stubborn/forgetful college student, I didn't have anything to cover my head, so my ears and nose completely froze. It was downright painful. The worst part was finally getting to class because my face would start to defrost and it would give me a headache.

But now? I get to cozy up in my house and drive myself whenever I need to leave instead of freezing to death.

My Day 5 photo is just okay, in my opinion. It took me a while to get it the way I wanted and I'm still not totally happy. But I love these little glass candy decorations and I wanted to show them off.

day four.

I apologize in advance, but I'm totally phoning this one in. Sleep evaded me last night (yes, again), so I stayed up all night and am slowly but surely crashing. I will likely be asleep as soon as I finish dinner at 6pm.

Good thing I already had my Day 4 photo lined up, isn't it? This one is a similar tree to the one featured yesterday.

Yes, it's another wire Christmas tree. I absolutely love this picture, except for the fact that I cut out the star at the top. It was done purposely because when the star is in the photo, it either became the focal point or it was blurry in an unpleasing way. I wanted to focus on the beads going down the tree so that's what I did.

Now it's time for pizza and slumber.

guidos are gross, sorry.

Well, tonight was the premiere of Jersey Shore on MTV. In a nutshell, they took eight people (most of whom do not live in New Jersey), put them in a shorehouse in Seaside that's right on the boardwalk, and let the games begin.

For your enjoyment (or maybe just mine), I've included my thoughts on the first five minutes of the show. I did watch the whole first episode, but my mouth was too agape for me to record any other reactions.

Right out of the gate, the first guy says "being a guido is about being Italian, it's about family, tradition, tanning, gellin' your hair." Okay dude, I'm pretty sure tanning and gelling your hair aren't tried and true Italian traditions. I do believe that this is one of those situations where all guidos are Italian, but not all Italians are guidos. Got it? Probably not because you're playing your music too loudly.

Also... am I missing something? All of these girls WANT to hook up with guidos. Who wants to do that? I'm so confused.

Okay, this Vinny kid is at least a little more decent than the rest. He doesn't have hair to gel, first of all, but he actually went to college. Fascinating.

I wonder how long it'll take for these people to hook with each other. And then fight with each other about hooking up with each other.

Ugh. Please get these people off my TV and OUT OF MY STATE.

So there you have it. Even though I did tune in for the entire first episode, I will boycott the show from here on out. I just needed to see how bad it really was. And it was baaaaaaad.

Ahem. Moving on.

I have a very cool picture for today's 24 Days of Christmas photo. When I was looking through my decorations, I came up with the idea to take some pictures of this tree:

After shooting it from different angles, I decided to take some pictures through the bottom. I was excited to see the results knowing that the pictures would likely come out good, but they were so much better than expected. So, without further ado, here is my photo for day number three.