thanksgiving recap.

After a weekend of eating nothing but Thanksgiving leftovers (including copious amounts of pumpkin pie and brownies that nobody ate), I am so ready to get back on a regular diet. I spent the past three days "recovering" from the holiday, which basically meant sleeping, staying in my pajamas, and cruising the internet for Black Friday/Cyber Monday shopping deals. But let's backtrack to my Thanksgiving.

The nametags I slaved over for two hours.

I had a decent Thanksgiving. The "kids" are all older, so all of the excitement has really disappeared. This year felt very, very different compared to previous years. Maybe I was just in a funk because I was worried about my anxiety, maybe it was because I had to keep leaving to drive people around. But something just felt off.

The day went by lightning fast, which is my biggest gripe about holidays. There's so much build up and anticipation, and then suddenly, it's done. We always have a small crowd for my dad's side of the family. Mine is a family of four, my cousin Lynds's family is four more, and one of my older cousins joined us as well, making nine.

My cousins Lynds and Clancy, and me. The girls of the family.

Leading up until dinner, we sat around playing Wii while the parents had Serious Discussions. Dinner was okay, but as soon as we were done, I had to drive my brother to the cat shelter where we volunteer. The kitties still have to eat dinner, even on Thanksgiving. Then I went to pick him up, after which we all played an annoying and drama-filled game of Outburst. Although after discussing it the next day, I seem to be the only one who was a stick in the mud about it. Guess it was the fact that I couldn't drink yet because I had more driving to do.

We took some pictures, sat down for dessert (which barely anyone ate), then I was off again to lead my cousin out to the parkway. I got back, had a shot of vodka and a beer, and we played Wii for about a half hour until my mom and aunt got into some silly tiff and then suddenly it was time for Lynds's family to leave.

All that being said, we had a ton of fun getting our drink on and playing Wii tennis. It was nothing short of hilarious.

(Just a warning, there's a bit of objectionable language. My brother likes to drop the F-bomb.)


In true holiday fashion, I barely ate anything throughout the day because I tend to get really anxious. It sucks, but I've learned to deal with it and put up with everyone making comments on my nearly-empty plate. Of course, this means that as soon as everyone leaves, I engorge myself on all the leftovers, which isn't always the best plan of action. I cross that line from "mmm, yummy" to "MISTAKE BITE" really, really quickly.

Hopefully everyone else had a wonderful holiday. Personally, I'm looking forward to Christmas and thinking it will probably go better than Thanksgiving.

happy thanksgiving!

With all the health problems and emotional drag that I've been having lately, it's hard for me to remember all the good things in my life. I've always been thankful for family, friends, my general good health, and all my material things. It's just a little difficult to focus on that when my stomach won't act right and I have anxiety attacks whenever I leave the house.

But today is Thanksgiving, so it's a kick in the pants for me to realize how lucky I truly am.

I have an amazing family, both immediate and extended. My parents have been extremely understanding in letting me stay here while I figure everything out, with limited griping about why I haven't found a job yet. I have a hilarious younger brother who always understands me, listens to me vent or cry, and actually offers pretty decent advice. I have aunts and uncles who would take me in at the drop of the hat if they had to, cousins who I share so many fun memories with, and grandparents who spoil us rotten, even today.

Then there are my friends. I don't even know what I'd do without them. College was a wonderful experience for me just because I ended up with a handful of really close friends, each of which I can relate to in different ways. Whether it's my roommates, my accounting major friends, or my RHA cohorts (oh, the memories of 9am exec board meetings), I love them all so very much and would not have survived college without them. As for my dance friends, they are my go-to people. I grew up with them and spent more time in the studio with them than I did my high school friends. They are practically my sisters.

My boyfriend (aka The Boy, aka Mark) is absolutely amazing. First of all, he puts up with my insanity and nonsense basically all the time, which is saying A LOT. He has been incredibly supportive these past few months with everything I'm going through. Even though we get in a lot of silly arguments, we're both too forgiving and too in love to really let anything break us. (For the record, I'm not good with this mushy stuff, and rereading that sentence? Kinda makes me wanna vom [shout-out to Katie and Melissa!]. But it is the truth.)

And last, but certainly not least, are people in the blogosphere (that means you!). While I did have this blog last year, I wasn't as nearly as involved in the community as this year. I'm thankful for everyone who takes the time to read my thoughts, comment on posts, or just say hi on Twitter. It's awesome to be able to connect with so many people so instantly.

I hope every single one of you lovely people has a wonderful Thanksgiving, whether it's sharing a small meal with loved ones or a large shindig with a 20 person extended family. I hope there's plenty of pumpkin pie, and if you have any left over, I will gladly come visit you and finish it off. I'm up early to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade (SO. EXCITED.) and then my Dad's side of the family is celebrating at our house a little later today.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

~~

Super Serious, Day 8 - Wednesday.

Sleep: Went to sleep at 4am, woke up at noon = 8 hours.

Breakfast (12:30pm) - 1 full egg and 2 egg whites scrambled with shredded cheese
Lunch (4pm) - Crab salad sandwich on rye bread
Snacks - Pretzels; taco shells with salsa; 1 pumpkin cupcake; Mike & Ike
Dinner (10:30pm) - Cup o' Noodle soup
Snacks - 1 scoop pumpkin ice cream; Mike & Ike

Drinks: 1 glass of water; 1 can of Sierra Mist
Vitamins: none
Exercise: 1 hour of raking/sweeping; intermittent chores throughout the day (cleaning, bringing stuff up/down the stairs)

i love prep work.

Yesterday was spent cleaning and baking and crafting, and I'm tired!

I spent two hours doing place cards, because I'm a freak like that. My mom was seriously surprised and annoyed that I'd taken so long for that one task. But I did get my cupcakes done, which need to be iced and decorated tomorrow. They are absolutely delicious even sans icing.

Today is dedicated almost completely to cleaning, as company comes tomorrow and the house has to be as clean as possible. At least I have my baking to look forward to - pumpkin pie and decorating the cupcakes.

I always have so much anticipation before a holiday. Things are fast-moving and exciting. Everyone's tidying up, making food, bringing out the good china, and in some cases, wrapping gifts. The actual holiday usually goes by much, much faster than I'd like it to. Still, I can't help looking forward to them even if they do go by in the blink of an eye. It just doesn't hurt that I absolutely love the prep work part of it as well.

~~

Super Serious, Day 7 - Tuesday.

Sleep: Fell asleep at 6am, woke up at 5pm = 11 hours.

Dinner (5:30pm) - Taco salad (ground beef, lettuce, tomato, corn tortilla, cheese)
Snacks - Pasta with sauce; ravioli; 3 pumpkin cupcakes; cup of noodle soup

Vitamins: none
Exercise: 10 minutes of Wii Sports and 30 minutes of DDR
Drinks: 1 glass peppermint tea; 2 glasses of water

Notes: Bad, bad news all around. I'm really not doing such a swell job. I'm not too sure why I couldn't fall asleep last night, but then I never woke up when my alarm went off so I went into a Coma Sleep until 5pm. Yikes. I'm having my mom wake me up today, so I should be back on track. I still really need to work on the exercise, though.

blast from the past.

For the past few weeks, I've been organizing the family photos. We had envelopes upon envelopes of developed film dating back to around 1996. Yeah, that's thirteen years worth of photos.

During the organizational process - sorting out doubles, numbering the envelopes, and putting everything in albums - I decided to snap pictures of some of my favorites. My original purpose was to put them on Facebook to thoroughly embarrass share them with my family, but then I realized I could also give you guys a peek into my past.

My older cousins, my brother, and me, being a distraction.


Classy, I know.


Christmas photo! I'm retroactively pinching my OWN cheeks.


Proof that I did, in fact, play sports at some point in my life.


Go, go power rangers! You mighty morphin' power rangerrrrrrrrrs! In case you were wondering, this was the year that EVERYONE was a power ranger.


There's nothing like an eighth grade dance photo to scream LIFE AS A PRE-TEEN WAS TOTALLY AWKWARD.

~~

Super Serious, Day 6 - Monday.

Sleep: Went to bed at 4am, woke up at 3pm (hooboy, that's no bueno) = 11 hours.

No breakfast, no lunch - I went to work as soon as I got up.
Dinner (9:30pm) - Pasta with sauce
Snacks - 2 scoops pumpkin ice cream; salad with shrimp, shredded cheese, croutons & Caesar dressing; 2 blueberry waffles

Vitamins: none
Exercise: none
Drinks: 2 glasses of water

Notes: Eep, I was really bad. No real meals, no exercise, and not-so-healthy food. Hopefully I'll make up for it for the next two days. I'm probably going to do a "cleansing" diet, by which I mean I'll try drinking only water and tea, eating only "good" foods as much as possible, and completely avoiding the "bad" foods. I guess that means the pumpkin ice cream in the freezer is going to go untouched. Sad face.

day five.

No regular entry today, folks. Sorry about that. I was out all day yesterday at The Boy's house and today, I'm off to work for the afternoon.

I'll be back tomorrow!

Super Serious, Day 5 - Sunday.

Sleep: Fell asleep at 5am (oops), woke up at noon = 7 hours.

Lunch (3pm) - Turkey and pepper jack cheese sandwich on an English muffin
Dinner (6:30pm) - Chicken and broccoli with jasmine rice; small serving of salad
Snacks - One scoop of cookies & cream ice cream; a handful of popcorn; 1 slice of pumpkin pie; 1 oatmeal cookie; leftover ravioli

Vitamins: Multivitamin, iron supplement & calcium chew
Drinks: 2 glasses of water & 1 Capri Sun
Exercise: 2 hours of washing cars/running around at The Boy's house

my goals, explained.

I guess since I'm doing pretty well with documenting my project, I should list what exactly I'm trying to do here.

• Reducing snacking. This means eating more full, scheduled meals and having substantial snacks. I'm also trying to minimize snacking past a certain point before bedtime.
  
  
• Eat more 'good' foods. Regarding my health problems, I have found a website that lists food I should eat, ones I should be careful with, and ones I should completely avoid. I'm supposed to stick more to things like pasta, rice, bread, and potatoes. So basically, carbs.
  
  
• Avoid the 'bad' foods. As per the list of foods I should be eating, the "completely avoids" are things like caffeine, chocolate, coffee, dairy, and fatty foods. I have become much more conscious of eating less butter/oil, checking the fat content of packaged foods, and limiting dairy.
  
  
• Drink more water. Like I noted in my last post, I'm really bad with having enough water per day. This one's pretty self-explanatory.
  
  
• Exercise. This has been tough since my sleeping has been off. I'm spending the day with The Boy, so a short walk may be involved, but I'll definitely be back on track with this tomorrow.
  
  
• Sleeping. Basically, stop sleeping for 12+ hours. Friday night I hit 15, but that was after staying up Thursday into Friday after my ridiculous sleeping binge. I'm shooting for 10 as my "regular" number, for now.
  

So there you have it. I don't exactly have too many specific goals because I find that if I do, when I don't reach them or am doing badly, I give up more easily. Having open-ended goals is better for me because I find that I'm more productive that way.

~~

Super Serious, Day 4 - Saturday.

Sleeping: Woke up at 2pm after going to bed at 11pm = 15 hours.

Lunch (3pm) - Pasta with sauce
Snacks - 1/2 bowl of Jell-O
Dinner (5:30pm) - 3 pieces of skirt steak; 1/2 a large potato with Smart Balance; salad with fat free ranch dressing
Snacks - 1/2 bowl of Jell-O; 3 vanilla sandwich cookies; 3 homemade oatmeal raisin cookies; slice of pizza; steak quesadilla

Vitamins: Multivitamin, iron supplement, & calcium chew
Drink count: 2 glasses of water
Exercise: 10 minutes of Wii Sports

why i hate brillo pads even more now.

Wow, this blogging every day thing is really starting to grow on me. Of course, it's also caused me to believe that every! single! thing! that I do needs to be blogged. That's probably not true.

Anyway, I've been in super cleaning mode for the past two weeks or so (I can't really remember, there were a lot of sleeping mishaps...) since Thanksgiving is being held at our house. Most of the duties fall to me, mainly because I have to do chores to "earn my keep," but also because my mom never got around to all of it herself. Which means I get to do everything. And we're not just talking about your regular dusting, sweeping, mopping, and cleaning the windows (although I have to do all that TOO). Oh, no.

Yesterday, for example, I had the wonderful pleasure of completely scrubbing down the bathroom, which only gets a full cleaning twice a year. Anyone who roomed with me in college can tell you that I love cleaning the bathroom. (Like, love. To an extent that's borderline unhealthy.) But I never had to do what my mom does, which is spend an hour and a half in a Chemical Cloud of Awfulness.

People. I was wearing an old wife beater as a makeshift face mask so that I didn't pass out from the fumes. I would've taken a picture, but my hair was an absolute mess.

You'd think this is the worst of it. But it's not. On Wednesday, I spent two hours in the downstairs hallway, taking a Brillo pad to the vinyl tile floor. Tile. By. Tile. If there's something that gets done less often than the hardcore bathroom cleaning, it's the hardcore hallway floor cleaning. It's a very high-traffic area, so the spots underneath the throw rugs are very yellow and dirty. Nothing gets the dirt up... except Brillo pads. I hate Brillo pads and now I have even more reason to hate them. If it wasn't for the extreme sense of satisfaction my perfectionist side gets from seeing all that dirt come up, I would refuse to do this. The things I do for cleanliness.

For the record? My future husband is going to haaaaaaate me.

~~

Super Serious, Day 3 - Friday.
6am - Small mug of instant coffee with Pumpkin Spice powdered creamer
Breakfast (8:30am) - Plain pasta
Lunch (11:45am) - Turkey sandwich with mayo and pickles on rye bread
Lunch #2 (3pm) - Pasta with tomato sauce
Dinner (5:30pm) - 2 slices of broccoli pizza
Snacks - 2 cookies; half a tangerine (it was gross); Sun-dried Tomato Wheat Thins

Vitamins - Multivitamin & iron supplement
Drink count - 3 glasses of water, 1 mug of coffee, 1/2 can of Diet Pepsi
Exercise - 1 hour of cleaning the bathroom; lots of carrying things up/down the stairs for my mom all day

Notes: My mother seems to think that my sleeping problems (and weird leg pains every once in a while) are caused by dehydration. I've never been one to drink a lot - I physically can't chug that much water at once - but it usually doesn't bother me. However, with my digestive system running on high all the time, I need to replenish at a faster rate than usual. My goal is to start drinking three to four glasses of water/liquid a day.

learning my limits.

Last Friday into Saturday, I had the absolute best time reconnecting with my younger cousin, L. She and I are... well, we're hard to describe. We're not exactly alike, although in many ways we are. I'd say we're different in all the good ways, ways that make us able to tolerate each other.

One of our biggest differences is choice of social activities. In college especially, I was (and still mostly am) the laid back type. I didn't go to frat parties every weekend - in fact, I only drank on a handful of occasions in college, most of them happening after I turned twenty-one. My friends and I spent our time watching TV shows, going to the movies and the mall, or going out to eat. That's just what I chose to do and I was perfectly content with it.

L, on the other hand, was ready for college before she even got there. When I went to visit her last weekend, all of this was on my mind. I had simply assumed we'd be drinking, so it didn't surprise me when she suggested we pick up some beer or vodka. I chose vodka, just because I knew it would be easier to mix into something else and go slow. I was wrong. (Although I'm still glad I didn't go with beer, because she'd surely have me chugging and I cannot chug anything, for the life of me.)

Let me just say, even after turning twenty-one, I haven't really ever gotten drunk. I'd also never taken a shot. So ... definitely killed those two birds with one stone.

It wasn't bad, but it wasn't all good, either. A big mistake I made (and that I knowingly made) was that I had barely eaten all day. I know, I know, novice mistake. But I figured I'd have one or two shots, then mix it with sprite and call it an evening. Nope. The equivalent of four shots later (I had a couple of half-shots in the beginning, since I was a newb), I was having. a. ball. L decided to call up my brother and we had a nice little chat, and a couple of her friends had come over. It was all good.

Then in the span of about ten minutes, it was suddenly not good. I got quite hot and dizzy and was no longer happy to be drunk. L noticed and I could tell she was worried, but I think she thought I was just overreacting. Luckily one of L's friends was pretty sober and noticed, and I have a feeling she said something to L when I went to use the bathroom down the hall. When I got back, everyone had left and L said we could just go to bed.

Most of the problem was that L didn't really pay attention to the fact that her tolerance was much higher than mine. I didn't drink often; she drank every weekend. She was basing her decisions to take more shots on how she felt, not realizing that I was likely more drunk than she was at any given time.

The good news? I didn't throw up and I didn't pass out. I did start getting a little emotional because I wanted to feel better, but that moment came and went. I think L got a little overly concerned because she felt bad, so we put on a movie and she ended up falling asleep by 1am. Within an hour or so I felt loads better, but I couldn't fall asleep because kept having to pee. Wonderful.

Overall, it was an absolute learning experience. L told me the next morning that it was good I was with her to test my limits, because hers were tested at a point where it would've been uncool to go crying to someone about overdoing it. I'm mostly appreciative of the fact that we were just hanging out in the dorm and that I learned my limit. Now I know better for next time how far I can go before it crosses from this-is-so-fun-OMG drunk to must-stare-at-one-thing-so-I-don't-throw-up-from-dizziness drunk.

The best part? I wasn't even hungover! Bonus points for me.

~

Super Serious, "Day" 2 (Thursday night into Friday morning)
"Breakfast" (8pm) - 1 whole egg & 2 egg whites, scrambled with cheese; 1 slice rye toast with Smart Balance butter.
"Lunch" (Midnight) - shrimp-flavored ramen noodle soup
Snacks - chocolate chunk granola bar; 2 vanilla sandwich cookies
"Dinner" (5:15am) - Smart Ones frozen meal

Exercise - nothing

and then this happened.

Super Serious, Day 1 (Wednesday).

Breakfast (7:45am) - 1 full egg & 2 egg whites scrambled with shredded cheese; 1 slice rye bread with Smart Balance butter; 1 glass of Gatorade with fiber supplement.
Morning snacks - chocolate chunk granola bar; leftover grilled chicken
Lunch (1pm) - Smart Ones frozen meal
Afternoon snacks - 2 vanilla sandwich cookies; 2 Almond Joys; 1/2 bowl of Kix; rice crackers; Ranch-flavored Wheat Thins

... and then I passed out at 8pm without eating dinner. Oops.

Exercise - 10 minutes of Wii Sports; 1 hour of raking leaves

~

Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll notice, there is no update from today for my Super Serious plan. Why? Because I slept for twenty-four hours. Take a moment, let that sink in.

I fell asleep at 8pm last night and, aside from waking up around 9:30 with horrible stomach cramps, slept through until 8pm tonight. Sleeping for that long, although wonderful when it's happening, is bad news. Bad, bad news. I finally got out of bed and nearly toppled over. It doesn't really help that I seem to be developing a cold in the midst of this, but everything felt very off. I barely had the energy to make myself breakfast (yes, breakfast at 8pm).

I was hesitant to share this because I'm not really proud of it. My sleeping habits, while constantly the source of jokes amongst my group of college friends, aren't really funny anymore. But I figured a twenty-four hour sleeping binge was an exception, because even I'm still going... wait, WTF?!

Anyway, despite my usual nature to abandon a plan once I fail, I'm sticking to Project Super Serious. Here's hoping tomorrow will go a little smoother!

commence project super serious.

I keep putting off my weekend entry because I'm waiting for my cousin to supply me with some photos. But as we get further and further into the week, I'm getting antsier that I'm not posting.

Then I thought of something.

I have a week and one day until Thanksgiving. A couple odd weeks ago, in the back of mind I told myself I would get healthy by the holidays. Thanksgiving totally snuck up on me in a really bad way - if I stick to my goal, I have a mere week to get completely back on track.

This weekend threw me off, though that's not to say I was really doing that great to begin with. Still, doing shots of vodka Friday night, eating chicken quesadillas all weekend, and spending the last two days sleeping? Not on the approved list of activities for getting better.

All of this means one thing: I have to get Super Serious about this. Which means using this blog to hold me accountable. I always hesitated to include daily health-related goals here, but I don't have many other options. At least if I know I'm recording my progress here, I'll feel somewhat obligated to actually do better. I tend to be very lax with myself, so blogging is going to be my accountability partner of sorts.

But fret not! I know this doesn't sound exciting in the least, but I'm going to continue blogging about other things in addition to the health-oriented stuff. Maybe this will even get me back into the swing of writing a blog daily.

So... here goes nothing!

why i can't wait for friday.

It's almost Friday, and I'm more excited than usual.

Why?

Tomorrow I'm visiting my cousin at college.

This is awesome for many, many reasons. First of all, she and I are the closest out of our family, close enough to consider each other sisters. We've recently been having a rough time keeping close, not only because we were so busy in our senior year (hers in high school, mine in college), but because we couldn't relate to each other. My college career was ending, which meant that everything that I had gotten used to was going to change, and not necessarily in a way that I liked. Her life, however, was just beginning, as she enjoyed her senior year and got ready to go to college.

Whatever the reasons, now that I've settled a bit into the post-grad life and she's finally gotten her freedom in college, all the annoyances we had with each other are fading. While things are far from perfect, they're definitely getting better. I had felt, at one point, like we were reverting back to being simply cousins and not acting like sisters. I don't feel like that anymore.

The second reason I'm looking forward to visiting is that she ended up going to the same college as I did. Visiting her means I go back to my old campus, my old freshmen dorms, my old... dining hall. Well, maybe not there. We're doing a mini walking tour, just to see what's new (like the controversial public art pieces that were just installed), then taking a trip to the mall to look at Christmas things. Even the mall is a place full of college memories, where I shopped for Secret Santa gifts and a last-minute strapless bra for the EMS formal (where I first met The Boy).

I am incredibly lucky to have her at the college where I "grew up." One of my bigger problems recently is my anxiety with new places and situations, so if I were visiting a college I didn't go to, I'd probably be a bit of a mess. But since I'm so familiar with the drive there, where to park, and where everything is, it just feels like I'm going home.

being productive RULES.

There's something about being productive that I absolutely love. It makes sense that getting things done results in a good feeling, but I get absolutely giddy.

It's probably because I spend much of my time lollygagging around, especially now considering my job search is on pause. I'm the kind of person who can go on doing nothing for days and days without even really realizing it, until I sit down one day and go, oh wow a WHOLE WEEK has gone by, and I've just been sleeping and eating all the leftover Kit Kats from Halloween.

(True story. Bouncing between sugar rushes and sugar crashes really isn't healthy.)

Last week I kinda dipped my toes in the Doing Stuff pool, but all I accomplished was my little craft projects and finally sending out my cousin's care package. So today I vowed to get things done. As much as I despise Mondays, I usually look at them as a fresh start, and fresh starts are my BFF. Why? Because I'm one of those crazy perfectionists who falls off the wagon of whatever I'm trying to accomplish as soon as one little thing goes awry. Mondays, in my mind, equal a clean slate for me to totally fuck up again be completely successful.

First I ran errands. I mailed the Playstation 2 game that I sold on eBay, picked up photos from Walgreens, and put gas in my car. Then I sorted the photos, put them in albums for my cousins, and wrote little captions by each picture. I cleaned the entire living room for my mother, vacuumed my own room, finally hung up all the things that needed to be hung, and threw out posters I'll never put up again. And it felt oh. so. good.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I'm on a Successful Day High right now. That, and I'm abnormally excited about my just-planned sleepover with my favorite cousin at college. Having fun things to look forward to is definitely a good thing.

why my family calls me their little martha stewart.

My lovely little desk where I am clearly multitasking like crazy.

I've been crafting up a storm the past few weeks. First I made a lovely autumn banner for my cousin's dorm room. Using some pretty scrapbook paper, I cut circles out of patterned paper and some heavier card stock and glued them together.

I debated about the lettering - I was just going to print the letters out in a pretty font, but quickly realized that would mean a lot of intricate cutting. And although I am the Queen of Cutting Things Out, that would probably prove to be too tedious, even for me. So, I practiced a bit, told the perfectionist in me that it would all be okay, and hand-drew the letters.

The 't' didn't come out all that swell, but I think the rest make up for it. I forgot to take a picture of the finished product before I sent it out, but I punched holes in the top of each card and strung them with some sheer maroon ribbon.

My second project was to make customized binder clips as place card holders for Thanksgiving. These were pretty simple, as I just cut out scrapbook paper the size of the binder clip and glued it on. Still, I was thrilled with the end product.

All this crafting has planted the seed in my head about opening an Etsy shop, but I have no idea if I have the time and dedication to give to such a project. Although, since I'm pretty much in limbo with my job search because I've been sick, it wouldn't be such a bad idea to get it started while I'm trying to get better. It would at the very least give me a reason to get out of bed at a decent hour if I spent a good chunk of my time crafting.

Still, I'm worried about getting in over my head. I guess we'll see. Any thoughts, especially from those who have an Etsy shop, are welcomed and appreciated.

i'm a list-maker.

Happy first Monday of November!

October actually went relatively slow for me. September passed in the blink of an eye, but October lingered just enough. I will say I'm a bit Halloweened out (and I didn't even do anything!) - on Saturday night I dreamt of still handing out candy! That's craziness.

All dolled up... for the trick-or-treaters.

Now that Halloween is officially over, it's time for Christmas Thanksgiving. Being a plan-ahead kind of person, I've been making plenty of to-do lists. First is the food list. I'm making pumpkin pie from scratch and pumpkin cupcakes, so I need a lot of canned pumpkin and cake mix. Then there's the cleaning, and oh, is there cleaning. My mom had surgery earlier in October, so she never got around to her annual fall cleaning. We've basically got the whole house in front of us to do. And last but not least are the decorative little things, like place cards.

Even though I could go on and on about how Thanksgiving is the forgotten holiday and Christmas just gets shoved down our throats early, it doesn't hurt to start planning. I've already made shopping lists for everyone I need gifts for, started looking for dessert recipes, and am on the verge of purchasing my outfits for both Christmas Eve and Day.

Needless to say, I have a lot on my mind. But I like to think of it now so that I can make sure everything gets done. I won't even mention that my mother and I are working on putting all our photos in albums, making a photo DVD for my aunt, and putting together photo albums for my two cousins. Or that I'm spending most of today running around to finish the care package for my cousin at college. Oh well. I'd rather be busy then sitting around and twiddling my thumbs.

my blogging voice.

You know what I realized? I never really celebrated any of my blog's Big Moments. My first blogoversary (did I even spell that right?) went completely unnoticed, as did my 100th post.

Yeah. I'm really bad at those things, I guess.

My second blogoversary is rolling around in January, so maybe I'll do something fun and exciting then. Or, maybe for my 200th post, which is relatively soon. (I'm at 174 now.)

My blogging style has become so different from when I first began. I used to be a lot less inhibited - I just wrote whatever I wanted, however I wanted to. But as I started networking and reading other blogs, I realized that my posts could be a little more polished. Sometimes, though, I look back at my old writing style and realize I like it better than how I write now. And, I was funnier. (Or, at least, I thought the old me was funnier. I may have some bias towards, you know, myself.)

Is it because I have an audience now? Sort of. I mean, I don't sit down thinking, "okay, I really have to impress everyone with perfect sentence structure and my incredible wit." But it's still a teeny tiny thought in the back of my mind that I find hard to ignore. I used to write posts with wreckless abandon, barely editing a thing except for glaring grammatical and spelling errors (because I am one of those grammar/spelling nazis). Now I think a bit more, take note of when I'm re-using a certain word too much or if I'm starting too many sentences with "I..." It's very weird, actually, and I find it really hard to stop doing that.

But, I'm going to try. My goal is to get back to the spontaneity of my old posting style while still working to improve on my writing skills.